#You're focused physically and mentally on this painting

[phil-lestifer]

Did some paint by numbers while listening to true crime today very relaxing do recommend

[mister13eyond]

talking to a friend about getting back into art and i think the #1 most important piece of art advice i could ever get or give is just "figure out what is FUN to you"

like i think there is sooooo much emphasis on how to build SKILL in art but a lot of it really treats art like a job or like video game grinding, like it's this thankless job that you have to work at in order to reach a Threshold and i know it's not EASY to make yourself have fun but like

imo a solid 70% of the reason i create art is because the Act of Drawing is fun to me. it's fun problem-solving and planning and putting down lines and playing with colors and tools. it's fun to depict little scenes in my head or to create outfits or to find ways to fill the canvas. never forget that creating can be fun. sometimes it's hard and sometimes you have to battle through your own blockades to get there but the ultimate goal should always be to ENJOY it, to find what you enjoy doing and then do it forever. improvement will follow enjoyment.

i think especially with all the debate about ML image generation it's more important than ever to embrace FUN. if you're only focused on the end result it's so easy to get in your own head- to think about what doesn't look good or what skills you don't have yet or to compare yourself to other artists. but photography didn't kill the art of drawing and AI won't either because, simply put, there will always be people who want to do the physical act of making art because it's fun to do! using paints and markers, splashing colors around, doing shitty pen doodles, using the symmetry tool in your art program to do abstract mandalas that are just squiggles formed into patterns. do art like you're 5 and you've been handed markers to pass the time. do art like you're bored in class and you're keeping your brain entertained by drawing stick figure comics in the margins. do art like an absent thing, do art because it satisfies your brain. the goal is not to make something beautiful and perfect, the goal is to make something because your hands need to make and your body needs to make.

[justblades]

๋⚝ being messy! boothill, gallagher, sunday

MINORS DNI, gender neutral! reader, drabble formatting. oral sex, penetrative sex, light bondage, praising. in honor of boothill's banner tmrw <3

GALLAGHER

it was upon mutual understanding that this will only be a one time thing. yet, the way he crashes his lips onto yours with fervor, his bulky arms wrapping around your torso tightly to bring more proximity, to ease the warmth and lust brewing in your bodies - makes you yearn for more. gallagher relishes the aftertaste of aperitivo and absinthe twirling on your taste buds, reveling at the lingering flavor of the cocktail you downed in one go earlier.

gallagher's breathing is far from stable at this point in time, he cums inside you once more, letting his satisfaction paint your insides white. amidst reaching his orgasm for the third time this long night, he continues to pump in and out, letting out a hoarse groan as he feels his cock erect again. "it doesn't stop." he says, breaking the kiss for a moment to glance at his dick. he draws a heavy sigh, feeling himself become more sexually driven.

"well, no matter. gotta make the most out of this one time occurrence, yeah?" the brunette asks rhetorically, leaning in for another passionate kiss. furthermore, he skillfully slips his tongue inside your mouth, this time, familiarity binds the two of you - he could taste himself in you and vice versa, making a perfect concoction to relish in full bliss. wasting no time, he rams inside deeper this time, filling you up as your legs begin to go numb from the overwhelming sensation.

he shows no signs of halting at every service he's offering, a perfect open mouthed kiss as you're buried in the solace of being towered and wrapped by his large figure, and an endless stream of libido coursing through his veins. he proceeds to pick up the pace of his thrusts, earning him more absent-minded, lewd noises gush out of your saliva slicked lips.

his girthy cock becomes coated by his own white juices, several drops trickling out of your hole the more frequently he hits your sweet spot. "feels good. . ." you manage to utter in between his impactful thrusts while he manages to let out a deep chuckle, emerging victorious as the intercourse felt more like who'll endure longer. a bizarre idea suddenly lit up his mind, evident as soon as the magenta dyed tie adorning his collar come undone from his own gloved hands - he snakes it around your neck instead in a blink.

confused, he does a swift knot and wraps the end of the fabric around his wrist. casting a focused gaze, he pulls the tie towards him, making your body jolt awake from the abrupt movement. gallagher inches forward, his golden copper eyes anchor from the neck tie up to your face, watching your melting expressions as if he were etching every second in his memory. "the view just got even more beguiling—" he pauses, out of breath as he continues thrusting into your walls. "—stay for a little longer like this."

SUNDAY

the situation he's in just got a little more taxing. he looks at the stack of paperwork laid before him, fingers massaging his temples in a desperate attempt to process everything. golden eyes drift from one document to another, his vision starting to get lost among the sea of words tangling together, a stairway to mental fatigue.

as an assistant, you come rushing to his aid and offer him two beverages of his preference, accompanied by a sweet snack to lift his spirits up, at least, his physical system. "mr. sunday, perhaps you can take a break." you query and set the tray on his desk table, bowing slightly as a greeting, although suddenly.

"i need to clear my head." with one simple sentence, you understood from the get go what he really wanted. this has always been a little secret, a guilty pleasure the two of you had in agreement, you grant him access to your body at anytime he wants, while you submit to his requests willingly. embarrassment wallows you whole, but sunday feels himself slowly drift into relaxation, proceeding to let his dick spring free from the stress, letting everything unfold naturally.

as the head of the oak family is a perfectionist and employ rules to abide by - his taste in oral sex can sometimes become a dichotomy to the mentioned quirks of his personality. betwixt the belief of instilling strict order and the bliss of being free in anything, he gets off on the idea of you being messed up, looking disoriented as cum overlays your features, yet another preferred stress reliever of him.

as you take all of him in with your mouth wide agape, your wet cavern wraps itself around his shape. his mouth tightly shut, stifling the threatening hums of pleasure to slip out his hushed lips. however, your eyes remain locked passionately with his, an aspect he deems tantalizing - among your usual attentive look, whenever these instances happen, he indulges in the fact that your eyes now cast a lascivious one, an obvious longing displayed for the highly esteemed individual. "that pacing is good . . ." he states, long lower lashes bat slowly as you continue to suck him.

lewd noises continue to reverberate inside his private vicinity, the sounds then die down as an authoritative voice arises. "wrap your tongue around it." another knack sunday has in encounters like this is that he enjoys submission - having the power to be in control, to dominate. you stick your tongue out and twirl it around the head of his cock in gradual motions, ensuring he feels every second of the sensation. slowly but surely, he feels the build up of his release, evident from how his hips buck along your rhythm.

the feud ends as soon as he cums, letting the white strings sprawl all over your features down to the clothing you don, marking darker patches from the sticky liquids. huffing for a brief moment to catch his breath, he then carefully shuffles his pocket and fetches a handkerchief, folding it into a tidy square as he wipes your cum stained face with the soft fabric. he displays a reassuring smile this time, one different from previously - the present feeling more sincere and intimate. "well done."

BOOTHILL

boothill believes in the art of giving - he has your legs rested on his broad shoulders as he stimulates your sensitive parts. a smug smirk carved on his lips, augmented teeth peeking with a boastful look painted on his features. "like it when i do that?" he queries, slate gray eyes focusing on your body language.

too overwhelmed to be capable of verbalizing any word you intend to deliver, he doesn't wait for an answer as he digs himself in you again, sucking the flesh to where you'd mewl the most in. sharp, static, what felt like needles struck your lower limbs, a familiar numbness gush through your body. "wait— not there!"

tears well up in your eyes, lips quivering. the cowboy revels in this, enjoyment prominent the way his cold iron hands grip the plush of your thighs. "ya taste too good baby!" he proclaims, one hand then proceeding to glide to your inner thighs. with his fingers, he ghosts a caress on the other parts of your sex as well as flicking the tip of his wet tongue over your hole. arousal continues to drip down, a cloudy color spilling the longer the oral sex dragged on.

a pungent scent of cum mixed with sweat wafts inside the place - you feel lost and at cloud nine at the same time. it felt ecstatic, but unreal as to how your head buzzes with euphoria. you couldn't get enough of the galaxy ranger pleasuring your parts in more ways than one, his tongue and hand makes a perfect combination to douse the flames of your lustful temptations. your eyes roll back the slower boothill goes with licking your part . . . drool slowly escaping past the margins of your lips.

he halts for a moment, tilting his head to the side as he watches you become disheveled from the overwhelming stimulation. desire sears inside him, a strong carnal urge to make you feel good even more. suddenly, he flips you around, your naked back facing him and your only support being his leaden, metal arms. he was cold to the touch, a surprising chill rides on your sweaty skin.

"i'll keep ya still darling." the male proudly states and leaves a chaste kiss on your nape. as the cyborg was left with no more mortal parts other than his heart and mind, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, reveling in the warmth and intimacy of being skin to skin. "however, i can't say fa' sure if i do this." a distinct accent laces his tone as he thrusts his fingers inside your hole, the glacial surface of his digits makes a polar opposite of your velvet walls.

endless strings of ejaculation spring out - it appears that all you needed was a tad bit of penetration for you to reach your climax. you heavily pant to desperately catch your breath, eyelids weighing heavy. "well? how was it?" he asks, curiosity dancing in his two monochrome hues.

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY:#3 the power of self-care

"If you don't have a dream, that's okay too. It's possible not to have a dream. If you're happy, that's all that matters"

-Suga

heyy sparkles...so today it's the third part of the glow up and thank you so so much T-T for the support in the second part

Edit: haircare,nail care is for apparence part I focused on routines,skincare,body care in this part (I'm so busy these days T-T<3)

© bloomzone

#3 SELF CARE

✉️ : Self-care includes activities like eating well, exercising, and relaxing to maintain physical, mental, and emotional health. It's essential for managing stress and enhancing overall well-being.

Self-care is essential for maintaining balance

﹙ ✿ ﹚Taking care of yourself is about finding simple, comforting routines that make you feel good. Start with small steps, like taking a relaxing bath,do ur skincare , journal...Prioritize these moments and remember that they are just as important as anything else on your to-do list. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and choose activities that genuinely make you happy. Listen to your body and give yourself the rest and care you need. By focusing on what brings you comfort and joy, you'll create a self-care routine that feels natural and rewarding.

HOW TO START SELF-CARE ?

Have a routine: It is really important to have a routine because if not you could have bad sleeping, be tired all day, get boredeasily, won't be able to finish responsibilities, it can bring you bad self esteem, unmotivated and in general is a complete mess.

Example of a routine (by me)

summer version.

⏰( wake up at 4:30am to pray ifajr if u are a Muslim :) )

♡ ﾟwake up at 9:30am

♡ ﾟmake bed

♡ ﾟdrink water

♡ ﾟmorning stretch 15min

♡ ﾟskincare/quick shower

♡ ﾟbreakfast

♡ ﾟhelp mom if needed

♡ ﾟphone time

⏰(pray duhr if u are Muslim:) )

♡ ﾟlunch time

♡ ﾟnap

♡ ﾟfull workout

⏰(pray asr if you are Muslim:) )

♡ ﾟstart learning a language,see friends or simply watch a movie

⏰(pray Maghrib if you are a Muslim :) )

♡ ﾟhelp mom cooking dinner

♡ ﾟwash dishes

♡ ﾟcheck social

♡ ﾟskincare

♡ ﾟget ready for bed

♡ ﾟsleep at 10pm

Things u can add to your routine :

cleaning ur room

- wardrobe

- desk

cooking

- I will share my fav recipes in next blogs 🤫

set goals for next year

- academic goals

- life goals ( saving money,body goal ...)

sunday self care day routine

summer version

⏰( salat al fajr + reading Quran for Muslims)

♡ ﾟwake up at 9am

♡ ﾟdo ur bed

♡ ﾟmeditation

♡ ﾟskincare + face mask

♡ ﾟjournal/affirmations

♡ ﾟice coffee/tea

♡ ﾟmorning stretch 15min

♡ ﾟbreakfast

♡ ﾟhelp in cleaning

♡ ﾟwear ur fit

♡ ﾟgo shopping

⏰(pray duhr in masjid if u luv to :) )

♡ ﾟlunch

♡ ﾟfull workout

📍everything shower time

- hair mask

- shave

- body care

📍after shower

- dry your hair

- clean/paint ur nails

- wear ur comfy pyjamas

♡ ﾟwatch a movie

⏰(pray Maghrib if you are Muslim)

♡ ﾟquality time with ur family/friends

📍get ready for bed

- write down what u achieve this week

- affirmations

⏰(pray Isha if u are Muslim)

♡ ﾟskincare

♡ ﾟget ur beauty sleep at 10pm

SELF-CARE BODYCARE AND SKINCARE

1.skincare

﹙ ✿ ﹚ I know that we all love shopping and buying things because it's pink or aesthetic or it's just because it's a famous products NO NO this wroong u don't need to buy a whole truck of innisfree products because it's pink or glow recipe buy products that will work for u if u have acnes and ur face hurt everytime u try to sleep or u wanna just wash it,visit a dermatologist he will give the product that ur skin need to heal again. (As a girl with strict parents hhh they didn't let me go I'm 16yo btw),so I start to buy random products until I found the perfect one for my skin (I have a terrible TERRIBLE oily skin)+ if u are 12-18 don't use serum's without permission of doctor u will just broke ur skin texture I bought ordinary serum and it just make my skin worst + it's an expansive sht ☠️

How to get rid of acne ?

♡ ⠀skincare secrets !

⊹ ‧avoid junk food

⊹ ‧fresh vegetables and fruits

⊹ ‧icing your face

⊹ ‧clay mask (recommended by me)

⊹ ‧avoid using a lot of skincare products

⊹ ‧ simplify ur skincare routine ( cleanser,toner, moisturizer)

⊹ ‧get 7-8 hour of sleep

⊹ ‧rice water

⊹ ‧don't sleep with ur make up

⊹ ‧stay hydrate

⊹ ‧change ur pillowcase (one in a week)

⊹ ‧ cucumber slice as a mask

⊹ ‧don't touch ur face

♡   Item you need

⊹ ‧pimples patches

⊹ ‧silicone facial cleaner (for deep cleaning)

⊹ ‧headband (keep ur hair up always)

2.BODY CARE

﹙ ✿ ﹚ Taking care of your body is a vital part of feeling your best, both inside and out. A good body care routine can boost your confidence and help you embrace your natural beauty. Body care is also about self-love and taking time for yourself amidst a busy schedule remember girlie every skin type is beautiful, and finding the right routine can enhance your natural glow.

♡   Body care secrets

⊹ ‧ don't shave (ur body)early until u are in the right age (+17) , if u are not a hairy girl no need to shave :)

⊹ ‧ shower everyday (don't wash ur hair )

⊹ ‧ choose the right body wash (nivea,vaseline >>)

⊹ ‧ stay hydrate avoid junk foods to protect ur body skin from pimples

⊹ ‧Exfoliate your skin 1-2 times a week to remove dead skin cells and promote cell renewal. Use a gentle scrub suitable for your skin type (coconut oil brown sugar >>)

💌 : How to shave ur leg and have a smooth soft skin

1- soak ur leg in warm water for (3 to 5 min) to make ur skin ready

2- use ur fav body scrub and exfoliate your body from death skin

3- use something like body oil or shaving cream and find a good razor at least 3 blades (venus Gillette is on top)

4- shave with slow don't be harsh,long strock and don't forget to wash the razor everytime

5- after drying ur legs use any lotion u like to give the skin the extra moisture + using baby oil to avoid strawberry legs

⊹ ‧ Choose body care products that are free from harsh chemicals and fragrances Opt for natural and gentle ingredients stay healthy girlie

⊹ ‧ avoid very hot water

⊹ ‧ Use natural oils like coconut oil, almond oil, or jojoba oil for deep hydration. Apply them after a shower or use them as an overnight treatment for extra softness.

♡   item you need

⊹ ‧ dry brush

⊹ ‧ loofah

⊹ ‧ natural soap (for ur 🐱)

⊹ ‧ razor pack

⊹ ‧ body scrub

⊹ ‧ body wash

⊹ ‧ africain exfoliating nets

⊹ ‧ body moisturizer

⊹ ‧ Shea butter

⊹ ‧ Epsom salt

ıllı ⠀ : ⠀Self-care is essential for every girl to nurture her mind, body, and spirit. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Whether it's indulging in a relaxing bath, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking a break to read a good book, these moments help recharge your energy and boost your confidence. Remember, you deserve to feel good and be happy. Prioritizing self-care allows you to show up as your best self in every area of your life. So, take a deep breath, put yourself first, and watch how everything else falls into place. Ilvy sm ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!

© bloomzone

[the-kr8tor]

Two Slow Dancers

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 7.2k

Synopsis: It's the very first day of your first 'real' job, with new faces and names, you find yourself fumbling over a handsome coworker. Will you survive the day?

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for clothing), a bit of loser! Hobie, The office AU, mockumentary AU, Coworkers AU, Coworker! Hobie, Reader has nicknames, one suggestive joke, CW food mentions, CW vomit mention, Fluff.

A/N: Special thanks to @pleaktale for the idea!

Navigation

The camera zooms in on your confused expression until the lenses can see every single one of your pores. The producer clears her throat, and the camera man immediately tries to fix the view. The camera lense whirrs for a second before focusing on you as you sit on an old office chair in the corner of the conference room together with the drab eggshell white painted walls and a single plastic plant placed right next to you.

All you can see are the same drab white walls with thirty year old motivational posters tacked on it. The rows of plastic chairs are lined up in front of the whiteboard where a rolling table with a small box tv sits and collects dust. You feel like you're in an uncanny side of the world where everything is all paperwork and the sound of the photocopying machine whirs in the background amidst the smell of old carpet.

This is being a full fledged adult, you thought. You're starting to hate it already.

“Is this necessary? I just got here.” You chuckle nervously, fingers fixing your collar that doesn't need to be fixed.

“Yes, we need everyone's point of view.” The muffled voice of the producer echoes in the boom mic. “And please stop fiddling with your collar, the mic will pick up the sound.”

“Sorry,” you give her a tight smile. “Um, I guess I should give you my name?” They all nod simultaneously, making you more nervous than you already are on your first day of work. Saying your name without stuttering, you mentally pat yourself on the back for your accomplishment. “I–I just started today, and I'm very excited to work here at Connor's and Jameson's.” You smile sweetly at the camera, a rough cough from someone on the crew makes your smile falter. “C–can I go now?”

A sudden deep rumble can be heard through the mic, shaking you in your seat as you hold on to the armchair. “Woah!” As quick as it came, it subsides. “I think that was an earthquake!” You say, eyes wide in panic, fingers fiddling with your collar as your nerves get to you.

“No,” the producer behind the camera sighs, “there's construction just starting next door.”

“Oh,” You wish the earth could swallow you right now. Way to embarrass yourself on your first day, and on camera too. “Right, sorry.”

The scene shifts to your new boss, Miguel, as he watches the bullpen from his office with his watchful eyes. His hands are tucked behind his back, his large frame practically blocking the sun from his window. He sees the camera crew zooming in on him, and he awkwardly straightens up, weight subtly shifting from side to side.

The camera follows his gaze, landing on Lyla, who's chewing on the cap of her pen as she chats you up while you're working quietly on your desk. She wears a cheerful yellow button up complete with the same yellow pants. You gotta admit, she wears business well.

“I'm just saying, it's eat or be eaten in this office.” The boom mic captures her voice. And the camera moves from her to the entire bullpen that's quiet except for the sound of tapping keyboards and clicking mice. “But I'm sure you'll be okay, we're just selling electric toothbrushes. It's not the end of the world of you commit one fuck up.”

You stare at the camera with a wide look before glancing at Lyla. “T–thanks for the tip.”

Lyla tilts her head with a genuine smile, “no problem, newbie. If you need any help, you know where my department is.” As you nod and glance quickly at Miguel, who's still standing still inside his office, Lyla notices your nervous demeanor. She narrows her gaze at Miguel before flipping him the bird.

“Lyla!” You whisper yell, while Miguel presumably huffs in his office and closes the blinds right after.

“What? It's just office banter!” She returns her gaze to you, eyes softening at your nervous glance. “Nice blouse by the way! Pink suits you.”

The scene changes and now Lyla is the one in your former seat inside the conference room. “Let's just say that I have… some information on him.” She smirks before the camera lense zooms in on the window in the background where Miguel stares heavily on Lyla’s back, his nose flaring, and mouth etched in a deep frown. Lyla feels the presence, brows pinching together before looking over her shoulder. “Hey, boss man!” She says without a care in the world (Or without a care for authority no doubt,) while she waves at him casually.

The scene cuts back to you struggling on the copy machine.

The machine keeps eating all the paper you feed it, making a strange and awful creaking sound whenever you press the button. You're sure that you did everything Lyla taught you. The stack of paper goes into the side, then the file you're going to copy is placed on the scanner. Pressing a few more buttons, it should've spat out an exact copy instead of giving you a jumbled mess of paper that looks like a demonic curse was printed on it.

“Damn it.” You curse under your breath. Eyes glancing to the side, you see the camera crew practically stalking you by the pillar. You quickly change your demeanor, back straightening up, shoulders straight but your huffing through the boom mic can still be picked up unbeknownst to you.

Yanking the half eaten paper away from the slot, you internally curse the photocopy god for giving you this trial for your first day. Looking around the bullpen, you see Lyla in Miguel's office, probably getting chewed on for what she did earlier. You definitely cannot ask her for help. Gazing at your right, your other co-workers are busy with their tasks, tip tapping away at their computers with their blank stares. Well, except for that one intern you hadn't had the pleasure of meeting, who's playing minesweeper on his computer. Amazingly, he looks like he's winning.

Hands balled into fists, you're contemplating whether or not you should start throwing punches at the machine. Lyla did tell you its temperamental, maybe a quick punch would make it think twice from giving you hell.

“Thinkin’ ‘bout squarin’ up with the xerox machine?” A sudden new voice startles you in place. His tone is smooth, confident and deep that it sends good shivers down your arms. “Sorry, thought you need some help.” he chuckles, backing away from you when he notices your shocked expression. “You new ‘ere, huh?”

“It's okay,” your nerves bust through your shaky tone. “Uh, yeah, new associate– on probation for the next six months.”

He smiles sweetly, silver lip piercing drawing your attention towards his lips which you immediately correct your gaze by staring at his brow piercing instead. It didn't help much with your nerves, he looks handsome in every angle. It's not like you're looking for an office romance, it's not illegal to stare, right?

Your new acquaintance has his wicks in a ponytail, silver charms clinking against each other whenever he moves his head. He wears a dark button up, untucked and without a necktie. You find him unbelievably charming.

“‘m sure you'll get it. Once you get ol’ Jerry ‘ere to work for you.” He pats the machine as it whirs and eats another piece of paper. His lithe hand grabs your attention, silver rings dotted along it like he's about to play on stage.

You swallow thickly, avoiding staring too long. “J–Jerry?”

“Yeah, we named it after this bloke who worked ‘ere.”

“That's kind of nice.”

“He's not with us anymore.”

“Oh–” you blink, lips already forming apologies.

“He’s retired, we got him a cake and everythin’” you can see that he's trying to tamp down a laugh by how his Adam's apple bops up and down and from how he subtly bites his lip piercing. “Did you think—?”

“No.” You immediately say. He gives you a teasing look, brilliant hazel eyes that are a beautiful mix of brown and green gazes at you playfully. “T–That’s what I thought too.”

“Right,” he says, unconvinced. “My offer of help still stands. But after this you have to tame the bloody beast on your own.”

You nod, “please, I'm starting to rationalize whether I should punch it or not.”

He gives you a genuine smile, “that could work actually. I've seen people do it a few times.”

“Really?” You say with raised brows and a hint of a hopeful smile.

“Nah.” He shakes his head with a smirk, smile widening when you frown at him with an annoyed look. With a chuckle, he reaches towards the half eaten paper stuck inside, fingers wrapping around it to pull away. “‘m Hobie, Hobie Brown. I work in the post room.” He gestures with his head towards the cart full of envelopes and small parcels. “Or what I like to call it in a fancy way, the logistics room.”

“It's nice to meet you, Hobie.” You smile at him, and Hobie smiles back as he finally rips the page away with a rough tug. The paper is suddenly released, the force almost topples him over if not for your quick reflexes. Your fingers wrap around his wrist, and you swear you felt his pulse quicken.

“You okay, Hobie?” As quick as you were, you retract your hand back to your side.

He nonchalantly clears his throat, fist gripping the paper in his palms. “Yeah, thank you…” he waits for your reply.

You give him your name, cheeks warm and palm suddenly clammy as you shift your feet from side to side to hide your bashfulness. With an inhale and your mind returning to the task at hand, you channel your bravery. “Care to teach me how to tame the beast?”

Hobie balls up the ruined paper all without leaving his eyes on you with a gentle smile. A bit unsure but definitely genuine. “Sure, I charge by the minute, by the way.” He jokes.

“Do you take lunch as payment?” You ride with his joke, hands placed inside your blazer pocket to again hide your shyness.

He grins, “I think we'll get along well, probie.”

You two have completely forgotten about the cameras. They got the whole interaction on film, complete with the lingering gazes and soft smiles you two seem to harbour.

—

“Hobie Brown.” He says while he's sitting on an office chair backwards, arms hugging the back of the chair and chin placed atop it casually. The producer eggs him on to continue with a single look. Hobie sighs, standing up swiftly before twirling the office chair away from him in one fluid and suave motion. “I work in the post room.” He crosses his arms on his chest, annoyed. “I've been ‘ere for three years. Don't like it, but it helps pay the bills, innit?”

“Can you tour us around the mailroom?” The producer asks in a hushed tone but loud enough to be captured by the boom mic.

“No.” He says flatly, already turning to leave the camera crew as he wheels his mail cart out of the room wordlessly.

The camera is left to just roam all over the organized chaos that is the mailroom. Everything seems to be in place but at the same time it's not. All the envelopes are in their correct spots on the large shelf on the far end of the wall, but all the boxes are shoved in a corner, all stacked up. It's a miracle that it's still standing without toppling over.

The mic picks up muffled chatter out in the hallway. Hurried footsteps can be heard as the crew follows the source of the sound. The camera peeks at the doorway, tilting to get a better look of you, who seems to be chatting Hobie up with a polite smile on your face.

“Mr. O’hara said that the shipping company messed up and gave us a different sample product.” You hold the box in your arms, clearly opened but was hastily closed off with masking tape. “He asked if you could send it back?” You ask sheepishly.

Hobie's whole demeanor seems to change as the white fluorescent light shines on your bashful eyes. “Sure, I know those blokes. I can even get it shipped for free.” He opens his arms, receiving the box from you, hands briefly brushing along his own. “They rarely fuck up, what's inside?”

“Uh,” you laugh nervously, cheeks aflame. “Something that is electric but definitely not a toothbrush—” before you could warn him, he shakes the box. It sets off numerous buzzing sounds inside. Hobie's neck snaps up towards you in a flash, with a smile slowly spreading across his amused face. “Yeah…” You wince, biting at your lower lip. “They're not toothbrushes.”

“Holy shit! It's—”

“Don't say it, Hobie!” You say through your grin. “Miguel was furious!”

His loud guffaw echoes down the hallway, making the boom mic pick up the sound, almost shattering the mic itself. Earning a high pitched sound emanate from it briefly. The poor sound tech had to take off his earphones lest he breaks his eardrums.

Hobie laughs harder. “I bet. I'd pay to see him all mad like that.” Shaking the box even more, the buzzing sound makes you chuckle, hand clasping over your mouth to tamp down your giggles. He mirrors your smile, finding your laughter contagious. After you've composed yourself, worthy of being your business self, he gestures towards the mailroom with his head. “You wanna see the post room, probie? It's not as glamorous as the bullpen but it's alright.”

“As long as you don't shake or god forbid, open the box.” You playfully gesture with your index at the box in his hands.

“Only if you ask.” He jokes back, or was it flirting on his end? Clearing his throat, he sees you widen your eyes, breath hitching in your throat. “I wouldn't, don't worry.” He immediately decides to remedy the awkwardness, feeling that he might've offended you. “There's a parcel ‘ere that's dated to be delivered in ten years. Don't ask why because I don't know.”

“In ten years? Weird, who's it addressed to?” You follow Hobie despite your thudding heart. He makes you feel like you're back in school again with all the crushes and lingering gazes across the classroom. Maybe it's not so bad to befriend someone else here that isn't Layla.

The camera crew immediately runs to the other end of the hallway to continue secretly filming the two of you, before you or Hobie could see them. Hobie opens the door for you, balancing his hold on the box and on the door.

“Yeah, it has your name on it.” You gasp right next to him. He smirks, eyes glancing at you teasingly. “Just fuckin' with you, probie.”

“I have a name, y’know.” You roll your eyes, seeing something move in your peripheral.

“You're probie until the lunch club says so.”

“The lunch club?” You ask, head tilting at the peeping camera from the corner of the hallway.

“You'll see,” Hobie shakes the box again to get your attention.

“You—! I told you not to shake it again!” Your giggles get muffled as you close the door behind you with a creak. The noise is followed by Hobie enthusiastically giving you a tour of the mailroom to the whole documentary crew’s amusement, and half disappointment.

—

You finally make it to lunch without a hitch. Without any more raunchy parcels and without you tripping over your own heels on the carpeted floors.

The camera follows right behind you, giving you enough space after you complained to Lyla in the HR department at how they've been too close to you, and hindering your work. (They haven't, you just find them annoying.) Hobie seems to have the same idea as you when he went to her office to tell them off too. According to him, ‘If I see another camera up in my face, I'll break their dodgy lenses.’ He said it with such gravitas that the documentary crew backed away immediately with their tails tucked in between their legs.

You grasp your lunch box in your hands, eyes roaming around the small break room with a few tables and chairs all grouped up. The vending machines on the side of the room whirr, its lights flickering in and out that has you suddenly creeped out. You blame Hobie for telling you a story about a night janitor that cleans the whole building even without its head attached to his neck.

Goosebumps appear on your arms when you remember how eerily he told it. Still, you were properly entertained before you had to go back to work, back to your drab computer with its boring programs and even more boring paperwork. Hobie makes it all bearable. You smile at the thought. Good thing that you're the only person in the breakroom, or your new coworkers would think that you're losing it. Then you remember the camera zeroing in on your face, you want to throw your lunch at them. If only it didn't cause you your job.

With a sigh, you claim the table nearest towards the vending machine. Sitting down your packed lunch, a bottle of your favourite iced tea grabs your attention inside the vending machine, begging to be let out of its glass confines.

Rummaging through your blazer, you could only find a stick of gum, and a button that magically flew out of your sleeve when you moved to grab a stapler earlier. You sigh, longingly staring at the sweetened tea. You bet that it'll help make your miserable first day a bit better. But alas, you're too lazy to go back to your desk to quickly grab your wallet.

Suddenly, an arm appears next to you, you almost screamed at the appearance if not for the recognizable rings around his fingers.

“Hobie, you scared me!” You clutch your imaginary pearls. “I thought you were—”

“The night janitor?” He smirks teasingly. You find him adorably infuriating. “D’you still need that change?” Glancing at his hand that's clutching the coin, it’s ready to be placed inside the coin slot, just waiting for your cue.

The camera crew backs away further into the corner, having the perfect view of the entire room and your interaction.

“I—” you wince when you pat down your other pocket, cursing at how your pencil skirt doesn't even have pockets. “— will you, please?” Great, your embarrassment will transcend through TV screens from now on.

Hobie smiles softly, coin clinking inside the machine as it falls. “Choose your poison, probie.”

Without a doubt, you press the number that correlates to your favourite drink. “Thanks, Hobie. I'll pay you back later. I'm supposed to be buying you lunch, remember?” You crouch down as the bottle tumbles down with a thud, falling right into your waiting hand. It's cold to the touch, the bee mascot on the packaging greets you with a cartoonish smile.

“Don't mind it, I have my own lunch. Save the IOU for another day.” he says as he sits down, setting his own lunch adjacent to yours. “Take it as a welcome gift.”

You turn around to face him, having a hard time opening the bottle cap. “And here I thought you wanted me out of here.”

Hobie scoffs without malice laced in it. The camera lense zooms in on his gentle smile. “Please, I don't give a tour to anyone in my post room just like that.” He gestures for the bottle wordlessly, fingers opening and closing in a come hither motion.

“I thought you brought all the new girls in there.” Teasing, you sit down in front of him, handing him your drink which he opens for you without a struggle. “Thanks.” He hands it back, warm fingers unintentionally brushing along your own.

“Not all the new girls.” He shrugs. “Jus’ the ones with the weak wrists.”

“Hey!” You chuckle, “rude. The cap was screwed in too tightly.”

“Sure, probie.” He opens his lunchbox, the smell of savoury meat and sautéed vegetables makes your hastily made sandwich look like it came from a microwavable meal.

“Wow.” You blink at the perfectly cooked rice. “Is that turmeric in the rice?”

Puffing up his chest, he smugly smiles. “Yeah, Beef broccoli with oyster sauce.”

“Damn,” you look down at your regular white bread egg sandwich. “Wanna switch?”

He chuckles, “no.” He makes sure to enunciate.

“Worth a try.” You mirror his smile. “Did your girlfriend or partner make it?”

“Nope, no girlfriend. Made it myself.” He says the last sentence proudly.

No girlfriend, huh? “It's pretty amazing that you have time to prep meals.” You take a bite of your abysmal lunch.

“That's what gets you when you don't have a partner.” Hobie scoops out a decent amount of his meal with his spoon, “your sandwich is…”

“Shit, I know.”

Chuckling, Hobie looks at you through his shining hazel eyes. “I was gonna say alright, but that works too.”

You take a sip of your iced tea, letting the cool drink douse your obvious shyness and flustered state whenever you converse with him. Lyla's words during the orientation keep repeating in your head, ‘no office romance,’ she said. ‘It's too complicated,’ she said. Is it though?

“So what's the lunch club? Shouldn't they be meeting up right about now?” Just as you said it, the doors swing open, revealing three college aged kids in their business outfits.

“Sorry we're late. Pav here needed to finish something.”

“Don't blame me,” The one with the flowy hair and dark brown suit scrunches his nose. “You're the one who's playing minesweeper all day, Miles.”

“The fields aren't getting cleared all by themselves, y'know?”

The only girl in the group sighs and rolls her blue eyes, pausing in the doorway once she sees you sitting with Hobie. “Well, who do we have here?” Her voice puts a stop to the arguing.

“Meet the new girl. Gwen, meet Y/N. Y/N, meet Gwen.” Hobie gestures over to the blond then to you.

“Hi, it's a pleasure.” You say whilst quickly chewing your food to appear somewhat presentable when they caught you mid chew.

“Oho, so she's the one you've been yapping about, Hobie.” Gwen crosses the small distance, palm patting Hobie on his shoulder. “Now it's really nice to meet you.”

“You talk about me?” You tilt your head, eyes narrowed playfully.

“He will not shut up, trust me.” Pav waves towards you in greeting. “I'm Pavitr by the way! I wish you could meet Gyatri but she's out sick.” He sighs, sinking down on the chair.

“It's nice to meet you, Pavitr.” You smile genuinely at the seemingly lovestruck Pavitr.

“Don't mind him, he just misses his girlfriend.” The one in a white button up and black lopsided necktie holds out his hand to you. “I'm Miles Morales.”

“Pleasure,” you shake his hand briefly while Hobie watches you interact with three of them. The documentary crew fades in the background, practically a fly on the wall by now that the group has gotten used to their cameras and lights. “I'm guessing this is the lunch club?”

“That's what Hobie told you?” Gwen sits down next to you, sliding drinks she got from the vending machine towards each of her friends. “We're more like the gossiping slash complaining club.”

You chuckle, “you guys are interns?”

“Unpaid interns.” They all say simultaneously in the same monotonous tone.

“It should be Illegal.” Hobie says, elbows placed on the table to address you fully.

“Not being paid for work in the guise that it's just an internship therefore the ‘pay’ is experience?” You make quotation marks with your fingers. Hobie raises an amused brow while the three share a knowing look that you can't quite decipher.

“That and interns.” Hobie shrugs with a smile, you snort at his joke, gazes lingering for a second before returning to each of your meals.

Gwen smirks and nudges Hobie's leg with her foot. The camera picks up and records their wordless conversation before she turns towards you. “If not for me then the mailroom would be a complete mess.”

“It's organized, Gwendy.”

“Well you did a shit job at organizing it.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, fuck you.”

Miles leans towards you, “Hobie's technically her boss.”

“Doesn't look like it. They argue like siblings.” You watch them with amusement, eyes crinkling in the corners. You decide to save everyone's lunch, “so… the lunch club is just you guys chatting about?”

“It’s more than that!” Pav says while he quickly swallows his lunch, “it's a way of life!”

“We sometimes meet up to play a gig at some dinghy place, or to just hangout after work.” Gwen smiles at you, hand clasped around her drink after Miles tried to switch it with his. “Wait!” Her blue eyes sparkles, “you haven't told her that you're in a band, Hobie!”

The trio gives Hobie a wry smile. Mischief glimmering in their eyes. “Yeah, Hobie, tell her about that time you played for one thousand people.” Pav nudges him with his elbow with a wink that you missed.

“You're in a band?!” Your expression brightens. “That's so cool! My roommate’s in a band, what do you play?”

Hobie throws the trio a quick glare before clearing his throat. “The guitar—”

“Just don't ask him to serenade you— Ow!” Gwen flinches in her seat, gaze narrowed at Hobie.

Your smile gets brighter, “you must be good at it then, playing for a thousand souls isn't a walk in the park.”

“Pav’s exaggeratin’, it was only a hundred or so.”

“Please,” Miles scoffs with a raised eyebrow. “It was definitely more than ‘a hundred or so.’” He copies Hobie's accent imperfectly. “You should've seen him,” he points at Hobie with his thumb while animatedly talking and clearly gassing him up. “He was basically Freddie Mercury up there— Ow, what?!” He stares at Hobie as if his looks could burn a hole through his head.

“He has a show next week—” Pav suddenly exclaims. “don't you dare, Hobie!” He points accusingly at Hobie. A moment passes while the two have a stare off. Meanwhile, the camera zooms in under the table where Hobie's foot is threatening to kick at Pav's leg.

Hobie sighs, blinking away his annoyance, (and putting his foot down) “it's in the white horse pub, if you're free next weekend.”

“Drinks are on Hobie—!” Gwen quickly says before twisting in her seat, effectively dodging Hobie's attack. “You should go! The rest of the band will appreciate a new face in the crowd.”

“Are you guys sure?” You bite the inside of your cheek. “I don't want to impose.”

“Impose away, probie.” Hobie smiles at you, dimples in full display. “‘sides, the pub’s fish and chips are unmatched.” His eyes sparkle under the fluorescent light of the vending machines.

You nod bashfully. “Sure. You had me at fish and chips.”

The trio share a knowing look before side eyeing the camera simultaneously with the same expression while you and Hobie gaze at each other with slight trepidation.

—

Before your first day could end, Miguel O’Hara calls everyone in the conference room for a quick meeting. You highly doubt that it's a quick meeting though since there's only thirty minutes before the day could officially end. Couldn't he just email it instead? Or maybe this is about *that package. If it is, you don't want to go.

With a huff and a quick but tired look at the camera, you make your way towards the conference room. As you enter, Miguel stands at front, muscular arms crossed over his chest, eyes scanning the room.

You avoid his stare, finding that your new boss scares you just a tiny bit with his air of authority around him.

Leather shoes and heels shuffle on the floor as each employee finds their place on their seat. You find the farthest chair to sit on in hopes of staying invisible. The plastic chair squeaks as you sit, cringing at the sound, knowing that the mic probably picked it up. You're starting to hate this documentary crew following your every move. Who would even find an electric toothbrush company entertaining to watch? Moreso to film its day to day operations? It's a complete mystery to you.

The room slowly fills up with you sitting at the back, your fists bunch up at your skirt with your nerves bothering you as Miguel scans his brown eyes around the room. The man sitting in front of you twists in his seat, a smile etched on his face.

“You're the new kid, huh?” You nod at him sheepishly as he reaches for you in greeting. “I'm Peter B. Welcome to the shit show.”

“Nice to meet you?” You shake his hand despite what he said.

The woman next to him sighs audibly, curls bouncing as she looks over her shoulder over to Peter. “Don't depress the poor kid on her first day, Peter.” With a polite smile, she addresses you. “I'm Jessica, don't listen to him, he's nihilistic. And likes to scare the newbies.”

“Well, I couldn't do it to Harry, might as well do it to— what's your name again?” Peter raises a brow at you.

“I haven't given it to you yet.” Chuckling nervously, you give him your name, fists unfurling around your skirt as you find them weirdly comforting. Like your favourite aunt and uncle you only get to see during the holidays.

“And I'm that Harry.” Someone suddenly speaks on your right. You almost jump in place if not for his gentle and unassuming smile. “I was hired a month before you.”

You take his waiting hand and shake it politely, finding his hand warm and friendly. “Y/N. Got any advice?”

Harry chuckles, a strand of auburn hair falling over his eye which he quickly brushes away casually. “My advice?” You nod, “go with the flow, and don't take it too seriously. The world won't catch fire if you accidentally mess up your documents. Worst case is that someone won't be able to brush their teeth for a few days.”

“Thanks.” You utter with a chuckle.

“No problem, oh, and uh, stay away from the bathroom on the second floor.”

You blink, curiosity written all over your face. “Why? Did someone die there?” You whisper the last sentence.

Harry leans closer, whispering back, pausing for suspense as you wait with trepidation. “...No, the other workers in the building just like to take a dump in there.” With every word, his smile grows. “Why would you think someone died there?” He says teasingly.

Just as you laugh, Hobie finally enters the room with the trio in tow. Miguel gives them a sour look for being late. You glance at him, “I think someone gave me that idea.”

Harry shakes his head with a smile, leaning away as Hobie sits down on your left. Harry gives him a polite nod before glancing softly at you and returning his attention to the front of the room. The camera zeroes in on Hobie's colder gaze at the man right next to you.

“What'd I miss?” He crosses his leg over the other casually, foot nudging you gently.

“Not much, just a few introductions—” Miguel's voice suddenly calling your name interrupts you. You feel like a student again when a teacher scolds you for talking in class. “Yes— sorry?” You stand up lightning quick, hands sweaty and stomach plummeting down.

“I was going to ask if you want to introduce yourself.” Miguel blinks at you, suddenly, you feel the room shrinking and with everyone's eyes on your trembling form.

You want to run and hide somewhere. Maybe not in the second floor bathroom.

“Uh, yeah, s–sure.” You curse yourself internally for fumbling over your own words. Saying your name, your throat feels like it's about to close on you. Someone coughs within the crowd, you feel faint. Hobie notices, the back of his hand brushes atop yours. You look down at the source, and he nods and smiles at you, encouraging you gently. “And I— I'm excited to work with all of you.”

Miguel nods, satisfied, giving you a glance as he tells you to sit back down. You can see Lyla give you a thumbs up from her seat up front.

“Nice job,” Hobie whispers to you, shoulder nudging your own. You inhale deeply whilst the camera lens focuses on you and Hobie. Miguel's words drones on, fading in the background. “Oi,” he says gently, “just breathe, yeah? It's over, you did brilliantly.”

“I think I'm gonna vomit.” You huff, trying to inhale and exhale out your bundle of nerves. “I almost fucked that up.”

“But you didn't.” Smiling, he taps your hand with his pinky. “Keep breathin’ for me. Don't want you gettin' sick all over the floors. What would the night janitor think about you now.”

You clasp a hand over your mouth to quiet down your chuckles. “Thank you, Hobie. I'm sorry that you have to keep saving me.”

Your whispered words make him grin, hiding how his cheeks grow warmer atop his shoulder. “No problem, it's part of my job description—”

“Hobie Brown!” Miguel's voice echoes from the front towards the back of the room, you flinch at the sound. “What do you do during an earthquake?”

Hobie's brows pinch together in confusion. “Why?”

Miguel rubs at the skin in between his eyes. Cameras flicking over to him and over to Hobie, who's grinning mischievously. The trio, except for Gwen, mirrors his playful grin.

“Dios mio, it's because we've been talking about an earthquake drill for the past five minutes.” You can tell that Miguel’s holding back from swearing.

“Ah, that.” Hobie smirks, feigning confusion. You swear he was actually listening to Miguel while he was talking to you. “Get on the floor and roll over?”

You almost laughed, Pav does, which was immediately extinguished by Miguel's stern stare.

“No, that's for when there's a fire.” Miguel gestures towards Harry right next to you. “Osborne.”

“Duck, cover and hold.” He shrugs, glancing at you, or was he staring over you and towards Hobie instead?

“Good,” Miguel breathes out a sigh, “the company wants us to practice what to do in the event of an earthquake.”

Hobie snickers in place. While Miles raises a defiant hand. “But there hasn't been an earthquake in New York since 1884.”

Miguel pauses like he's also thinking on why the company would instruct him that. “They just want to cover all the bases.” He says confidently, you admire at how fast he came up with that. “Lyla here will show you how—”

The floor suddenly shakes, and you grip at the nearest thing near you, which is coincidentally, Hobie's hand.

“Earthquake!” Lyla yells atop her lungs, already running out of the room in haste, leaving everyone to fend for themselves. Everyone follows right behind her, panic settling in everyone.

Hobie glances at you, with a playful wink, he launches off his chair, hand clutching at your wrist gently. You follow a half second later, heels clicking against the floor as you try to keep up with his long strides.

“Wait! It's just the—” Miguel gets bumped by Peter, stumbling briefly before catching himself. “Lyla! It's just the construction next door!” Still, everyone sprints off, leaving him alone in the room.

With everyone either in a panic or just following the crowd without an ounce of haste, Hobie seems to be having the time of his life. Cackling above Lyla's high pitched screams whilst he holds onto your wrist.

“C’mon, probie! Don't want the buildin’ to fall on you now!” He says while running with measured steps on the stairs of the fire exit. You're sure that running out of a building during an earthquake isn't wise, but the shake wasn't technically an earthquake.

Your panic is replaced with something lighter, smiling as he holds onto you. “Do you know it's just the—?” Foot stumbling over the other whilst you two run down the stairs, he immediately twists around when he feels that you've become suddenly weightless right behind him. “Shit!”

“Got you!” Hobie's arms catch you mid air as you instinctively yelp and grab a hold of him. His back hits the wall in a groan, eyes briefly closing from the sudden ache. “You alright?”

“Me?! Are you okay?!” You actually panic now, scanning him for injuries, head craning to look at the back of his head. Thankfully, you don't find any injuries. “Oh thank fuck.” Thumping your head on his shoulder, he chuckles as his hands hovers above your back.

The rush of footsteps subside, and you two are left alone on the staircase. His shallow breaths echo while you lean away, but still near enough to see his dimples and how flustered you look in his gorgeous eyes.

“Sorry for draggin’ you around, love.” The new nickname has your head craning up to look at him at lightning speed. “Thought you could keep up.”

You two don't notice the lone cameraman atop the stairs, watching the scene unfold, all the while having a front row seat.

Your palms are on his chest, lips slightly agape, eyes gazing into his hazel eyes. “I did, you're not the one wearing heels, Hobie.”

“There you go, fight back, love.” His voice warms your chest as he smiles at you and only you.

Heart beating rapidly, you hear footsteps from behind, and you immediately unlatch yourself from Hobie. His warmth is left etched on your form, eyes glancing shyly at him, finding that he's already staring at you with the same softness.

“Good, you're still here.” Miguel huffs from the top of the stairs, “get the others back up here.”

The scene shifts to Miguel sitting alone in his office, looking disgruntled and tired. “I want to quit.” He says in a flat tone.

—

It's finally time to go home. You close your computer and grab your things, waving goodbye to Lyla, who's staying behind to work on paperwork. You guess that's her punishment for setting off panic in the whole office.

Mind recounting your whole day, you enter the elevator on auto pilot. The elevator door starts to close, but a hand reaches in between the closing doors, effectively opening it.

Hobie's expression brightens when he sees you.

“Hi, Hobie.” You smile, holding the door for him to give him time to enter.

“Love.” He tips his head to you, joining you in the elevator. He puts on his leather jacket filled with shiny spikes and buttons all around it, atop his button up, making him look like a tough businessman of sorts. “Headin’ home?”

“Yep,” you pop the letter ‘p’ whilst trying your best not to ogle him. “My roommate’s picking me up, we're gonna go celebrate with a couple pints of ice cream.”

“Cute.” He mumbles, quickly clearing his throat right after.

“Huh?” You glance at him, heart thudding, and hands clammy around your bag.

“I said that it's adorable, celebratin’ your first day.”

“You think it's childish?” Your brows pinch together.

“Didn't say that,” he backtracks, “I think it's nice to celebrate it.” You hum in reply. “I didn't mean—” Side eyeing him, you tamp down your laughter by biting down on your lip. He catches on immediately. Shaking his head with a fond smile, Hobie leans on the elevator wall, hands casually shoved in his pockets. “Cheeky.”

“Learned from the best.” You shuffle on your feet to hide your shyness. “What happened to the camera crew?”

“They went home, they have regular hours too y’know. Why, you miss ‘em?”

“God, no.” The doors open with a ding as Hobie chuckles at your reply. You exit the elevator, shoulders aching from how much you've been sitting down today.

“Before I forget.” Stepping off, he opens the glass door for you, propping it open with his body as he rummages through his pockets. You wait for him patiently, watching as he pats all his pockets. “‘ere.” Handing you a piece of paper, he waits for you to read it.

“Is this?” Reading the contents written in his handwriting, complete with a little doodle of the iced tea you had for lunch. Your eyes soften under the orange sunset.

“The recipe for my beef broccoli I had for lunch.” He shrugs, hand scratching at the back of his head as he stares anywhere that isn't your shining eyes. “It's easier than you think it is. It only took me about 30 minutes to cook because I chopped everythin’ up and prepped it the night before. I stopped eatin’ at shitty fast food places when I learned to do it myself.” He rambles on nervously, hiding his sweet gesture with numerous explanations.

You pat his arm before pocketing the recipe for safekeeping. “Thank you, Hobie. I'll make sure to make extra for you.”

The corner of his lips tug up into a gentle smile. “Make sure you give me an extra serving of beef then, love.”

You nod, heart beating loudly against your chest. “Does this mean I'm part of the lunch club now?”

“‘Course.” He says it like it's the most obvious thing ever. “The council has approved your membership. That includes the rest of my band mates.”

“And here I thought the council only consisted of you and a trio of teenagers.” You take a jab at him in an effort to tease him.

“Fuckin' cheeky, you're hangin’ ‘round me too much—”

A familiar weight suddenly falls on your shoulders. “Who's this tall drink of—”

“MJ!” You immediately clamp her mouth shut with your hand to save yourself the embarrassment. “This is Hobie, my coworker.”

Hobie's brows furrow, the cogs in his head turn at the sight of the red haired. “I think I know you from somewhere.”

Mj moves your hand away before answering. “Wait, I think I know you too!”

Recognition flits over their faces, eyes widening. “You're in that band!” They say at the same time while pointing at eachother.

MJ leaves your side, and Hobie fist bumps her hand in greeting. You're standing in between them so you back away a little to give them space. You smile at their interaction, it's such a small world that they actually know each other. You're happy that your best friend is acquainted with your new friend.

“You're in ‘Mary Janes,’ right?” Hobie's smile grows bigger.

“Bitch, I am the Mary Jane!” She gestures in a ‘here I am’ pose, continuing to chat him up.

“Shit, I like your music, mate.”

“Dude, yours absolutely fucks hard!” Mj jumps on the balls of her feet excitedly. “I saw you guys play last month, the crowd was wild!”

“We have a gig next week at the white horse, wanna come with?”

“Fuck yeah, my guy!”

As they talk, you blend into the background. Your mouth opens to try to get a word in, but their enthusiastic words plow over your own. Your smile falters as they slowly forget about you standing on the side. So you wait, and wait like a kid waiting for their parent to stop talking to someone they bumped into at the grocery store.

Your first day wasn't so bad, right?

[tarotwithavi]

What kind of lovers do you attract/ are attracting?

How to choose a pile?

Take a deep breath and gently close your eyes. Politely request your spirit guides to reveal the appropriate pile meant for you, then open your eyes. Whichever pile captures your attention is the one meant for you.

Masterlist

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Pile 1

Your energy has this amazing superpower to heal, like a magic balm for broken hearts. It's no wonder people are drawn to you like bees to honey. You're like a walking oasis of comfort for those who've had their share of love's bumps and bruises. Those you attract are the creative types, the ones who think outside the box and color outside the lines. You've got this magnetic pull for guitar-strumming, canvas-painting, poem-writing folks. You know, those artsy souls who've often danced with heartache. It's like your aura says, "Hey, bring on the creatives!" Your magnetism doesn't stop at artists. Nope, it goes all the way to the bank, you attract some deep-pocketed darlings. Money? Not an issue for them, they've got it going on. And oh boy, strength? Both mental and physical? It's like you've got this fiery aura that's a total strength magnet. And hold onto your hats because popularity is part of your package deal. You snag the ones who are well-liked, the ones everyone wants to hang around. It's like you've got this neon "cool people only" sign that shines super bright. The people you draw in might be total opposites of you. I know, wild, right? But hey, life's all about surprises.

Pile 2

So, this is my personal pile of hopeless romantics. Get ready, because the lovers you're pulling in? They're just like you. You're like a magnet for those total dreamers, the ones who see love as this magical, larger-than-life adventure. You know those who could fall in love with the idea of falling in love. Yep, that's who's knocking on your heart's door. You're also attracting a bunch of daydreamers , those people who view love through these super rosy glasses. It's like they're lost in this fairytale, and they're looking for their partner to be the co-star in their romantic movie of life. And guess what? Your energy is like a beacon for the brainiacs too. You're snagging those who are smart, logical, and always ready with a dose of sensible advice. They're a blend of both worlds. It's like they've got this epic tug-of-war between their dreamy side and their practical side, and you're right in the middle of that sweet balance. They might not be super experienced in the love department. It's like they're all about that puppy love, that innocent and genuine kind of affection. So, whether you're nodding your head like, "Yeah, that's me," or you're like, "Wait, what?" this is your magnetic vibe.

Pile 3

You've got this power to pull in super dedicated lovers. They're the ones who are all about their hustle, totally work-oriented, and maybe even more focused on their projects than on matters of the heart. But hold on tight, because you've also got a thing for those who date with marriage in mind. No casual hookups for you , it's all about those who are in it for the long haul. Now, let's talk about down-to-earth vibes. The ones you attract, They're as grounded as a sturdy oak tree. It's like they've got their feet planted firmly on the ground, which makes for a really solid connection. And speaking of connections, you're kind of a magnet for the old-school romantics. Yep, you're attracting those who've got a dash of old-fashioned love in their style. It's like they're straight out of a vintage love story. The lovers you're drawing in are all about stability and commitment. Heartbreak? Not on their agenda. These are the ones who are ready for the real deal, a relationship with a rock-solid foundation. So, if you've been worried about love's rollercoaster, fret not. Your vibe is all about that steady, unshakeable connection.

[noctivague]

PAC: What area of your life needs nurturing?

Hello! Felt like doing another Pick a Card/Pile reading.

The topic of the day is: "What area of your life needs nurturing?"

How it's going to unfold is that I'll first narrow down to an area of life, look at the challenges and then the advice on how to nurture this area. This is meant to be a supporting reading that will help you grow in that specific field.

Focus on the 4 pictures above, pick the one that resonates the most (it can also happen that you feel drawn to more than one) and then read more below the pile(s) you selected.

Take what resonates and leave out the rest as this is a general reading meant for multiple people and situations.

Feel free to tell me if that resonates as I wish to improve :)

PILE 1

Cards: 4 of Swords + Valiant Courage: Take Actions with Passion Rx; 4 of Cups Rx + The Chariot + 4 of Pentacles; The Creator + The Shadow + The Mystic

The area of your life that needs nurturing is your mental and perhaps physical health. As in, you are currently depleted and in need of a rest, with a sense that your energy levels are so low that you are unable to take actions towards what matters to you.

Right of the bat I notice you got 3 out of 4 Fours of the minor arcana (Swords, Cups and Pentacles), which indicates a need to go back to the foundation and restructure yourself. Your foundations are crumbling and it's stopping you in your track because you are not tasking good care of your basic needs.

You are not allowing yourself to be bored, to rest and contemplate what's happening within and outside of yourself. So focused that you are on pushing through and advancing your life. I'm getting strong ambition and goals from this pile. You are afraid that if you take time off, you're going to lose what you have so you hang onto it for dear life, but it is counter productive and keeping you stuck in place.

The advice on how to nurture this area of your life is to:

1) get in touch with your creativity in a free, childlike and non-judgemental way. Whether you are a creative person of not doesn't really matter as it is not about skills but about expression, and we all have things to express. Keep your creations for yourself so that you can truly feel free from expectations and results. So whether that is drawing, painting, collages, sculpture, pottery, cooking, music, dancing, acting, sewing, makeup, making floral arrangements of cutting bonsai, whatever it is, pick up something that calls you and start expressing yourself creatively. Doesn't matter if you're a beginner or have done it in the past, as long as it is fun to practice.

2) another important aspect of nurturing yourself is understanding your shadow. In non-esoteric speak, what it means is that there are things withing yourself that you are pushing away because you don't want to accept them. The problem is that by denying these important aspects of yourself, you are cutting your growth short. The most important messages we can receive come from the depth of our own mind, and the shadow, while it may be painful and scary, contains keys that can make you free through understanding, compassion and acceptance. I would suggest meditation and journalling, but something else that's quite cool that ties with the first advice is that you totally can look at your creations and see what themes, thoughts or emotions are naturally emerging. Nothing is ever random when it comes to creativity, there is always something from you that comes out!

3) Once you've started being in touch with those dark thoughts, feelings and patterns, you must learn to sit with them, integrate them and make them part of your full self so that they are not a shadowy treat lurking beneath the surface anymore, but something you are fully aware of and can live in peace with. I'm getting that you should not hesitate to reach out for help if you realize at any point that you need support in order to overcome that. Some traumas are better handled with the help of a professional to guide you through it. I would also highly suggest looking up and reading about the concept of integration in psychotherapy as it could help and empower you on your quest.

Hope that helps Pile 1 and I wish you good luck on your journey! 💚

PILE 2

Cards: Queen of Pentacles Rx + 8 of Swords; 2 of Cups + Page of Swords Rx + 10 of Wands Rx; The Underworld + The Shapeshifter + The Maiden

The area of your life that needs nurturing is your relationship with love.

I'm sensing that this pile is for people who are single, either since birth or for a long time, or people who got out of a relationship and have trouble finding their footing.

What I'm getting is that you feel powerless, stuck and can't seem to see an end to your situation. You are eagerly waiting for things to blossom again but loosing hope because it's taking too long in your mind. It's like you set yourself this goal that you would find love and you're frustrating yourself that it is not happening.

You have a very idealistic view of love and are looking for something perfect and transcending, which is not necessarily a bad thing, I truly believe that we're often better off alone than with the wrong person, but the problem here is that you are being overly defensive and it's stopping the flow of things.

You may have trouble communicating your desires, which again, implies that you found someone willing and able to listen, but there is something in the way you express yourself and come across that feels like a wall between you and potential lovers. You are guarding yourself up at all times and it's not a good strategy.

Also, you are carrying a lot of baggage that you have not faced yet and so long as you don't do it, you will either be stuck where you are or cave in for something that is not the beautiful relationship you're dreaming of. There is again a message to open up, free yourself to let enough space for someone to get in.

Here is the advice on how to nurture your relationship with love:

First, you need to dive within yourself and face those burdens and over-defensiveness regarding forming new connections. The Underworld implies that it is something you dread a lot. It might be scary and ugly at times, but it is so necessary. It's an internal process that may take some time depending on your dispositions and willingness to do the work, but going through your own personal hell will make you stronger when you come out of it.

I'm getting that some of you might have a lot of disgust and shame towards intimacy and sensuality.

Your self is composed of so many facets and it's time to explore those you have been neglecting for so long. Again, I'm getting that you are neglecting your romantic, emotional, and/or sensual side. You don't have to make it your whole personality but it seems that it's important for you and that you should integrate that in your whole self more.

I'm getting that some of you have also either been neglecting their appearance, or been stuck with the same look for a while, so it might be a good idea to switch things up a little! Get a haircut or find a few new outfits. The important thing is not to look like someone else but find something that makes you feel fresh and confident and that expresses a new part of yourself, one that has been hidden for a while. This might take so trial and error as you are lacking practice, so don't expect to find the right thing straight away, but trust in the process and have fun exploring!

The last card asks you to reconnect with your sensuality and candid openness to romance. Whatever gender you are, there is a lot of healing energy in the Maiden archetype you can embody. And you don't need anyone to do that *wink wink* use your imagination or whatever support you want (audio, visual, written, etc...) the goal is to explore your body, your sensations and your emotions, and, again, explore that neglected part of yourself.

As a result you will be more willing to open up to new connections, whether it be from people in your circle or outside of it.

That's it for today Pile 2! Hope that helped and I wish you good luck on your journey! 💗

PILE 3

Cards: 4 of Cups Rx + 8 of Wands Rx + Crossing Bridges Rx; Judgement + The Chariot Rx + 6 of Pentacles; The Creator + The Riddle + The Father

The area of your life that needs nurturing is your own stance towards life. More precisely, I'm getting isolation and refusing to be on the receiving end of things.

Basically, it seems you are shutting yourself off from the world and people around you. Refusing help and advice and shutting yourself off in your own familiar world of self-reliance. You are reluctant to leave this old way of doing things behind, metaphorically crossing the bridge and leaving the past behind.

Perhaps you hold unresolved grudges and resentment towards someone or a situation and you are unable to let it go and move forward. Perhaps you have been a carer for a long time and forgot that you al so need to receive sometimes to keep the balance of things.

It seems like you are stopping the flow of exchanges between you and other people, as in, you refuse to receive and you are giving too much of yourself, your time, your energy and/or resources, and are depleting yourself in a way.

You are getting stuck in your track and unable or unwilling to transcend to a new state of being and looking at the world. You are unable to see that life holds so many possibilities and potential for growth and you are stuck in stagnation.

The advice for Pile 3 is the following:

Like Pile 1 you got the Creator archetype, but I feel like it's way less literal in your case. For Pile 3, I'm getting that you need to focus on yourself and your own self expression more. Do things that make you happy and fulfilled and stop always trying to please everyone. The Creator archetypes creates for their own pleasure and enjoyment, and you need to embrace that stance on life, which might or might not include creative endeavors, but you've been neglecting your own enjoyment of life and it's time to stop.

I'm also getting that you are facing an impossible problem to resolve and you're getting stuck in mind games, trying to find the answer to the Riddle. The truth is, you need to step away from finding the answer to this problem because you are looking in the wrong direction. I'm getting savior complex. You are just one person, you cannot neglect yourself for the sake of your family, your friends, your community or the world. You need to help yourself first before you can help anyone else.

Finally, the Father here indicates me that you are over-focusing on the negative aspects of masculinity, and I'm saying that regardless of your gender, as everyone embodies these qualities in one way or another.

Basically, you need to learn to talk about your feelings and ask for help when you need it. Don't try to be a carer for everyone and find balance in the knowing that you can be taken care of to, and you need it!

If people around you don't accept that, I'm sorry but you're going to need a time out from them until they understand and change their way, or cut them off completely if that's not an change they are willing to make. You deserve so much more than what you are getting Pile 3!

That's it for this reading, I hope it was helpful and I wish you good luck on your journey! 💛

PILE 4

Cards: 2 of Wands + 4 of Swords; Knight of Wands + Page of Cups + X of Pentacles Rx; The Box + The Orphan + The Eternal Child Rx

The area of your life that needs nurturing is towards your career and your future goals regarding prosperity.

It seems, when it comes to your career, that you are stuck in a state of inaction and vague contemplation towards your future.

You feel quite dissatisfied with the state of things but you can't quite tell what it is you need in order to finally feel fulfilled. I'm getting that these thoughts are nailing you down.

You feel like you need to wait for something to happen, to show you the light, and that then you'll be able to find your path.

For the struggles regarding this situation, it seems you are balancing between two states. The first is some type of tense over-activity that pushes you to run towards the first potential opportunity that arises for you. You might jump from one idea of path to another, or one job or education to another, never truly digging deep enough or being committed enough to go anywhere. You're basically running in circles.

The other side is to get lost in your wishy washy stance and drowning in your feelings of indecision. Again, it's like you find a thing that seems cool, you go for it, get cold feet, and opt out. The result is that you are blocking your own prosperity, which by nature takes time and dedication.

The advice for Pile 4 and their career is the following:

First, it seems you are putting yourself into a box made of expectations learned from your upbringing and society. You feel like you need to find THE solution, find it fast, and earn success and/or fulfillment straight away. Reality is unfortunately rarely like that.

So you need to examine these expectations you are imposing on yourself and free yourself from them, because they are hindering you more than they are supporting you. They seem like a good idea to motivate yourself but really they are only making you more confused.

Because at the core, you are not asking yourself what you truly need. Perhaps the reason why you struggle so much to find your path is because you are rejecting what you need the most. Perhaps even it's related to the box because you've been told that this isn't possible or desirable.

This is not for everyone, but I'm getting that some of you have some undiagnosed disorder making it difficult for them to function. In that sense the box is literally you not fitting the mold of society and the best thing you could to is to seek help in order to navigate that because you've been trying for a while and you can't do this on your own.

Lastly, there is a need to grow up, and I'm not saying this to be mean, but rather, to encourage you to take accountability for your life and make decision for yourself. Not what other people wants from you, not what society tries to makes of you, but what YOU want to do. Stop waiting for an answer to fall from the sky, pick a path and work towards it. It doesn't mean that you will forever do that, but at some point you need to get out of your nest and pursue something with dedication.

Voilà I hope it was useful Pile 4! I wish you good luck on your journey! 💚

[anakins-starlight]

You can never leave.

Ft: Anakin Skywalker x female reader

WARNINGS: Manipulation and Emotional Abuse | Physical Violence | verbal abuse | Explicit language | Toxic Relationship | Possessive/Manipulative!Anakin | No use of Y/N

In the dimly lit apartment, you sat nervously on Anakin's bed, watching him engrossed in his Jedi paperwork. The invitation from your friend Padmé to visit Naboo lingered in your mind, but there was a problem – you hadn't asked Anakin yet.

„Anakinnn..” you say, dragging the 'N' a little longer than you actually intended to.

"Yeah...?" Anakin replied, not bothering to take his eyes off the documents.

"I was considering going to Naboo with Padmé. Would you..have anything against that?" you asked, your words hanging in the air.

Anakin immediately looked up, his soft expression shifting to a scowl. "Of course, I'd have something against that. Why would you want to leave?"

"As I mentioned, Padmé wanted to visit her home planet, and..and she asked me to come along," you explained quietly.

"Tell her you're busy and can't go," Anakin orders, returning to his paperwork.

"But- I already told her yes, and I really want to go. It's getting boring just sitting in your apartment all day," you huff and cross your arms, not letting go of the subject

You're clearly too focused on your thoughts to notice Anakin putting his documents back in their rightful folders and standing up, walking to the foot of the bed.

"If you want to leave me, just say that," he murmurs, his tone calculated to instill guilt. He also crosses his arms while his eyes narrow as he takes a deep breath.

"I didn't say that, Anakin! That's what you heard. I just want to go outside a little. I feel like I'm rotting inside here," you explained, frustration evident.

"Oh, you're not enjoying it here? You don't like the home I decorated for you, the home where I cover all the bills so you can live comfortably? Well, by all means, go out and have a great time with your friend, but don't even think about returning." he replies sternly, painting your innocent desire to spend time with friends as a betrayal

"Huh? Ani, what are you saying? Of course, I appreciate you decorating and financing our home, but I just want to go out a bit! and uhm..another friend of mine mentioned that you might be overreacting and- suggested that you should stop controlling me," you mumble while still looking up at him.

Anakin, however, grew angrier, wanting to know which friend of yours had suggested this. „Which friend? Padmé? Or that blonde..what's her name again, uhh..Lera?”

‘Fuck! Why did I mention that? I can't tell him it's a guy...’ you mentally curse yourself in almost every language for saying something about that friend. You can't possibly say it was Padmé or Lera..what if he asks them and they say no?

„Well? Who was it?” he asks again impatiently, clearly wanting an answer. If you wouldn't have focused on his facial expression, you barely would have noticed his jaw clenching and his eyes darkening.

„It was..It was...-” you stop talking to take a deep breath, here goes nothing. „Crane..”

Suddenly Anakin grabs your arm, dragging you off the bed and making you stand in front of him. „Crane...? Crane?! Why are you friends with that disappointment of a Jedi?! Also, didn't I tell you no guy friends?”

„Yes, but..I met Crane way before I met you..he's just like a big brother to me...”

This answer makes him livid. „Give me your phone,” he says in a dangerous low voice, and you bet that if you wouldn't give it to him right now, he would freak out. So you obviously give it to him.

As soon as he has your phone in his hand, he throws it against the wall, making it shatter into tiny and also larger pieces which makes you squeal and jump away out of shock.

„Anakin-! What the fuck?! Why would you destroy my phone! How am I supposed to message my friend-”

Before you can finish your sentence, he suddenly slaps you hard across the face, his anger getting the better of him. Your cheek is pulsating, and your eyes are burning from the tears that you try to not let fall.

„Stop crying. I barely touched you,” he replies, taking a step back from you. ”Also, you not being able to contact your friends was the whole point of me destroying the phone. Maker, how fucking dumb are you..”

Tears spill over and flow down your face like a river escaping a dam. You feel your lip trembling and your body slightly shaking at his mean actions and words.

He bends down to your eye level, his raised voice echoing uncomfortably loud in your ears. „Oh, of course, you're crying now! It's always about you, you, you..never about me! Do you even consider how I feel right now? How I might feel about my love wanting to leave me to go to another planet without me?!”

You consider responding but decide against it, fearing it might escalate further.

„And Crane! You think you can be friends with him? He just wants to tear us apart with his stupid comments, and you're too blind to see it. You're a stupid fucking whore who doesn't give a shit about her dear boyfriend, who cares so much for her.”

As he storms towards his closet, grabbing his coat, you recognize his familiar game. He gets angry, threatens to leave, and then you always come crawling back to him.

„You're acting like a bitch, and I'm sick of it. If you can't appreciate what I risk for you, we can't be together. Go on that trip with Padmé or do the stars know what”

"Don't leave me, Ani," you sob, watching him grip the door handle, ready to abandon you over a trivial argument.

"Will you stay here? Be good and stay in this apartment? Will you only leave it when I allow you to? and will you ignore your friends who are trying to tear us apart?" he asks suddenly, his voice unintentionally rises in anger the more questions he asks.

You're torn. You love Anakin, but ignoring your friends for him? Is that even acceptable? Conflicting thoughts flood your mind, tears streaming down your face.

“o-okay...I-I’ll do that...” as soon as you answer, Anakin's arms wrap around you with comforting strength, creating a secure embrace that feels both protective and tender. The firm yet gentle hold conveys a sense of warmth and reassurance, leaving you enveloped in the comforting embrace of his muscular presence.

„Shh baby..it's for the better, mhm? Don't you think I'm right? Those friends of yours are bad people. Trying to separate you and me..i'm never going to let that happen.” he asserts, skillfully molding your perception of reality. It's a subtle, toxic dance where he positions himself as the protector while holding your head to his chest to provide a false sense of comfort as you weep into it.

In his embrace, you can't shake the lingering doubt. As his words echo in your mind, you question if surrendering your friendships is truly worth the illusion of security. Deep down, a conflict brews between the love you feel for Anakin and the nagging feeling that sacrificing your connections might cost you more than you realize.

[digenerate-trash]

So Yan!Harper is a little different because it has been heavily contributed to by several people including:

@asylumdweller | @these-bees-r18  | @pip-n-chips | @degrees-of-fuck

(and the asylum group chat)

And all others around the community!! I want to thank you all for feeding my freak obsession and im glad this has become like a group project!! 

(PS: tag your own yan head cannons pretty please. Dude a freak I love him) 

Just Harper head cannons!!!! 

SFW ones first:

Obsessed with you. Not possessive but still wants you to be focused on him.

Really into dolls especially customizing them with clothing and hair accessories. He's definitely got one of you that no one can ever touch or look at because it's very special to him. 

Speaking of Harper being crafty he's also into sewing! He's very good at tailoring things to your measurements, he has them memorized by now. It's not creepy he's just thorough. 

Has made you a custom straight jacket. 

Embroidered your name in his sleeve so he can look at it whenever he's bored. 

Absolutely was the worst child, other kids in the neighborhood feared him and that is why all the images of him as a kid are of him alone. he's also got pictures of you though. They're just hidden. 

Will gaslight you for no reason. He just likes seeing you confused and worried when you think you've missed your appointment. don't worry he'll make an exception. you're just going to have to owe him a little favor that's all (:

Will drop anything to make room for appointments with you. Will also ditch work for you as well. He would make house calls but Bailey is pretty strict about Harper being in his territory and Harper isn't prepared to fight Bailey. 

Will make you sick on purpose to keep you close by. This is either physically sick or mental (he only makes you mentally sick if he wants to keep you at the asylum) 

Harper is constantly sticking things in you so he can lick/chew on them after you leave. 

He is convinced that every action you make is playful and flirty even if you're trying to attack him. He just thinks of you as his feisty little lover and you just need a little extra attention that's all. 

When you're actually sick he's extra helpful, he prefers you like this. Weak and needy. He pets your head calls off any appointments or seeing any patients and he just sit's with you. Making sure you feel better. 

Harper takes care of all your needs. Check-ups mental health care surgery. No other doctor can touch you he's made sure of it. You also can't get a second opinion. 

Prefers using drugs/hypnotism to keep you in line. Man isn't strong and even though he could call security it's not ideal for him to get others involved in your little ‘couple fights’ 

For surgery, harper is always there for you. Before and after he's very attentive. Makes sure you know everything you need to and he's very good at making sure your recovery goes smoothly (even if it takes twice as long) 

he's always very clean even if you're a mess. He likes the dynamic of the two of you together. He likes it when people think he's out of your league because it adds to his abuse of power kink

Man has breathing issues around you. He tries to hide it. Biting his lip. Holding his breath. Just trying to control his breathing. None of it works. Man wants to huff you like a junky huffs paint.

Even if you are in a proper relationship with Harper he gets really petty and upset if you don't address him as ‘doctor’ 

don't play games with this man. He is the worst sore loser and even when he does win if you are close to beating him he's bitter about it. Might even hypnotize you to make you worse. He doesn't care if it affects other parts of your life. Competitive and petty 

Any time you punch/bite/mark this man he's enamered with the marks. They are a little present from you to him and it's not like you could ever really hurt him so he sees it more as a little lovers trophy than an attack 

NSFW

•···········································•✦•···········································•

will absolutely voyeur you but he is always particular about it, positions how people touch you how they act around you It is all very carefully choreographed even when he gets other people to fuck you it's all very staged and sterile in a weird way that doesn't even feel like sex lets be honest.

Prefers getting his sexual frustration out on you but likes it better when you're hypnotized. (He doesn't like to be associated with pain or discomfort unless it's for a purpose)

Has a file full of images of you naked, broken, on the verge of tears, fucked out of your mind, even ones where you're just asleep. He files them all carefully and studies them all he really wants to get ‘the perfect picture’ of you that captures everything you are. he's not even sure if it's possible but he's going to try. 

Get ready for everything you wear/eat/smell/sleep on to be covered in harper cum. Especially at the asylum where he's in charge of everything. he's got no shame and he really wants you to be accustomed to him and everything he does. 

Cockwarming at the drop of a hat. He needs to do paperwork. Guess who he's assigning as his little helper? you're too tired to get up from bed? Not a problem for Harper he can stay in bed with you. At the farm and he has a moment alone with you while he gets things ready? His pants are already off. You can't escape it. Harper loves having his dick in you at any time. 

Chugs a vial of aphrodisiacs before your appointments with him so he's the correct amount of horny for you. 

Will also feed you aphrodisiacs and then deny you any sort of stimulation until you're begging or crying. The dude really wants you to earn things from him when you're lucid so you think it's all your idea 

When you are hypnotised definitely makes you do some really nasty things for him. he's really into the idea of you being into everything he is and even encouraging him to do things to you when you're asleep/passed out. it's like getting consent but he's putting the words in your mouth and having you spit them back up for him. 

Has sex with you during surgery. And if he can't do that he at least jacks off during it. He can't help himself he really needs you. 

Man loves gaslighting you about your past sexual experiences. he's a big fan of convincing you that you're just an exhibitionist and it's normal. You just like things super rough and with a little more practice you won't be feeling so guilty about it anymore. And surprise harper is here to help!! 

Will jerk you off as therapy. If you enjoy it your making progress if you don't next time he's going to get a vibrator 

Very body-focused he's interested in pushing you to your absolute limits and making things difficult for you. Wants you unable to focus/form words/be able to move. 

Prefers it when you're squirmy during sex but not outright violent. 

Absolutely loves forcing you to cum. Not a fan of edging though. Not unless it's some kind of punishment. The dude will make you cum in your sleep during surgery when you are hypnotized, hands-free when you're fully dressed. Mans a freak for it. He also likes it when you sit on his lap or thigh while he forces you to cum. You'll get a lot of praise if you do it of your own volition. 

Harper drinks piss. At least once bro look at him.

[luvlybeomie]

painted confessions - c.bg

Pairing: beomgyu x fem!reader Warnings: none, beomgyu is just really soft, unintended picasso slander Genre: fluff, pining, bittersweet ending Word count: 2.2k (this was longer than i intended it to be lmao)

YOU AND BEOMGYU were currently sitting on the floor in your living room, crossed-legged and facing one another. The both of you had just finished a long day of nonsense at school, and had headed to your house as per usual to unwind.

Earlier however, you found some face-paint tucked away in one of the cupboards in your kitchen after fetching some glasses for drinks – there were a few palettes left over from your little sister's birthday party a couple weeks ago.

Hence, with the house to yourselves, the both of you agreed it would be fun to indulge yourselves in the activity, whilst also reliving a childhood memory.

With torn-out magazines and newspapers scattered across the floor, the both of you sat in silence as you painted random things on each other's skins. Which came as a surprise to you, since you would've expected Beomgyu to be making ruckus with some witty comments and teasing by now.

But as you shift your focus away from your craft, you notice the concentrated look plastered on his features. Despite the small and cold strokes you felt across against your cheek, he seemed strangely preoccupied with his thoughts. Beomgyu actually appeared excited at the start, jokingly boasting about how he was going to turn you into some sort of 'masterpiece' or something.

Yet now, it was like he was taking this all too seriously.

You clear your throat to break the silence, straightening your back.

"Is it looking like Van Gogh?" You suddenly joke with a small smile, referring to whatever he seemed to be working on, "you seem pretty into it."

The question however seems to catch Beomgyu off guard as he flicks his eyes towards you, looking almost startled. He blinks once, then twice, before blinking once more. He shoots you a sheepish grin, but was quick to come up with a reply.

"....I'd say more like Picasso."

In actuality, Beomgyu wasn't as immersed as you thought he was.

He had been heedlessly painting random nothings across your skin for a while now (except for the bootleg Pikachu on your cheek that he painted at the start), which unintentionally ended up looking like some abstract piece altogether – so technically, he wasn't lying.

In fact, he had been focusing solely on you.

After all, it was the only reason why he agreed to do all of this.

With the way you were both sitting, he was given the opportunity to be this physically close to you without having to try find ways to do so. It was somewhat intimate with the proximity between you, and it sent a fluttery sensation to Beomgyu's stomach. It left him barely being able to contain the shuffling he did on the cushion he sat on.

He also tried so, so hard to not stare at you for too long, mentally reminding himself to look away once in a while, and pretend to get more paint or rinse his brush. He didn't want to look like a creep.

But otherwise, he would allow himself to soak in and admire your features. 

Like the way your hair fell naturally, yet so perfectly, forcing Beomgyu to resist the urge to run his fingers through your hair...

The way you're protruding your lower lip into a small pout, face etched in concentration, which he desired to leave small kisses on and all over...

The content look in your eyes that shone behind your long lashes, that he often found himself falling so helplessly into...

The softness of your hands as your fingers swiped across his cheeks to remove smudges of paint, which Beomgyu wanted to hold onto for endless hours...

And the way you made his heart leap so effortlessly as your warm breath touched his cheek, your face leaning dangerously to inspect his own...

Beomgyu could honestly go on and on about what he admired about you.

After all, he was so utterly and completely enamoured by you.

His friends would often tease him about how obvious he acted at school – the longing glances he would send your way when you weren't looking, and the way he would always be seeking your company and be talking about you in every conversation. They could've been talking about the most obscure subject ever, and Beomgyu would somehow always manage to squeeze in and mention you.

At lunch, he would always reserve a seat next to his and buy you a drink or snack from the nearby vending machine. They would all jokingly puke at how sweet he became when it came to you. Usually a prankster and menace, they would scoff when he would become absolute mush in your presence.

But overall, his friends were genuinely happy for Beomgyu. Yeonjun especially would often pester him about making a move and confessing his feelings to you.

But the mere thought of it possibly ruining your long existing friendship, Beomgyu was content with the way things are now. He was fine...well, at least that's what he kept telling himself.

Soon the atmosphere was picked up where it left off as you shrugged off his sudden switch in demeanour as nothing more than self-absorption. The both of you once again fell into the same silence. And yet again, Beomgyu found himself in the same little routine of his, admiring you quietly as he dipped his brush into the cup full of mucky water between you.

Even now, your face decorated with a pretty bad paint job, he thought you looked beautiful. You were perfect in his eyes, more so than any other masterpiece.

He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have someone like you in his life. He saw you as the string that held him together at his lowest, and the shining light in his darkest days. You were incredibly patient and understanding. Despite being known for his bright image at school, very few only knew about his subtle, quiet side. You taught and made him realise that it was okay to show vulnerability, that he didn’t need to fake a persona and smile all the time.  

It scared him how attached he was to you, overwhelming him at times. He knew that he was still young – the both of you were, almost nearing the end of high-school. The both of you would then go into college, and perhaps not the same ones. You'll be bound to meet new people and so will he. But something in the back of his head, told him–no, screamed at him that he will never find someone like you.

Beomgyu may be unsure of a lot of things, but he was so certain about you.

Swiping his brush across some glittery pink paint, Beomgyu was filled with a sudden urge. Lifting his wrist up to your temple, he wrote across your forehead, his strokes enlaced with meaning.

But as he flicked the brush away from your head and eyed the painted slashes, a bittersweet sensation settles in his stomach, toning down the butterflies.

On your skin, it messily read: 'I love you.'

This was the closest thing to a confession he thinks he'll ever make. He didn't have the courage to tell you, despite wanting to so bad. At least, not yet. You deserved the truth. But it just wasn't the right time – everyone at school were too preoccupied with finals at the moment. He didn't want to burden you with his feelings (plus, he didn't think he'll be handle the rejection all too well either, so it was better to leave it til later).

So he thinks to himself that this was okay. That this was enough for now to vent off his feelings.

But as Beomgyu began to read the words over and over, he felt himself gradually freeze up to the point he was forced to halt his movements.

Even if he technically didn't confess, it definitely felt like he did.

Adrenaline began to pump through his veins, his heart palpitating erratically. His fingers twitched against the cheap paint brush.

The room suddenly became warm.

Beomgyu felt himself short-circuit, his cheeks burning as his brush hovered in the air beside your head. His actions then sunk in, only now realising the gravity of them.

'What am I doing?!,' he internally screamed, mentally bashing himself.

This however, didn't go unnoticed.

His behaviour was mistakenly interpreted as suppressed laughter, with the way he sucked in a breath and how he tightly creased his lips. You flick your eyes towards him, sending him a pointed look as you halted your movements.

Your eyes meet.

"Gyu? What's wrong?"

His throat suddenly felt dry, and he only let out a few strangled noises. You rose a brow, confused. "What, did you draw a dick on my face or something?" You ask, a small snort escaping your lips.

"Uh..."

You then deadpan. "You did, didn't you? Ha, ha, that's so mature of you."

You roll your eyes at his childishness, dropping your brush into the cup, "that's not exactly masterpiece-worthy, but I guess I'll be the judge of that."

It was when you suddenly reach into your pocket for your phone that Beomgyu went into full-blown panic.

You were going to see your reflection on the camera and see his confession.

Oh God, you were going to see his confession.

So Beomgyu did the first thing he could've possibly thought of.

He stretched his hands out, taking a hold of your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. There was a brief moment of awkward silence, the both of you looking at one another – one in question and the other apologetic. Before you could've said anything, he began wiping his palms all over your face in attempts to smudge the paint.

"Gyah! W-What the–Beomgyu!" You shriek, swatting your hands in attempts to pry him away. In doing so, your phone slipped from your fingers, falling onto the floor. Though, Beomgyu only continued, trying to keep you in place to ensure his message was rubbed off completely.

"Get off of me, idiot!" You shortly managed to break away from his attack, forcibly pushing him by his chest. Beomgyu fell back, barely managing to catch himself as he steadied himself with his hands. Glancing at your now slightly reddened forehead, the confession was practically nonexistent – his mission was accomplished.

In his relief, he took a moment to study you.

You gawked at him in absolute bewilderment, an array of colours smeared inharmoniously across your face. Your mouth gaped like a fish out of water, seemingly in shock and unsure of what to say. In short, you looked completely ridiculous. And not so long after, Beomgyu found himself unable to contain the snort that left his lips.

"Now it's definitely looking like Picasso!" Beomgyu cackled, clutching his stomach as his booming laughter filled the living room. He couldn't help it. The look on your face, plus the absurdity of the situation. It was just all too funny.

You glared at the boy, annoyed.

"What the hell's going on with you? You've been acting funny since we started all this," you asked, crossing your arms.

"And you, my dear friend, look funny," Beomgyu immediately shot back with a grin, purposely dodging your question. Adding to his cheekiness, he pinched your cheek affectionately, which you were quick to slap away. Luckily for him, you actually took the bait, scoffing at his response.

"Oh, yeah? You think that's funny?" You swipe your hand across the palette, looking up at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"Come here!"

Yelping, Beomgyu was quick to shift from his spot, slimly dodging your blotched hands.

A chase then ensued soon after, your laughter and shrilled screams echoing through the house. The both of you made attempts to get back at one another, which in turn regrettably stained your uniforms, that would for sure earn both your mothers' disapproval. Though, that didn't concern you both, nor crossed your minds at the moment, being too immersed in your little game.

The pursuit however ultimately led you both back into the living room. You came to a standstill, wrestling each other for dominance whilst trying to get swipes at each others' faces. But with the litter caused by your ruckus, you clumsily lose your footing on one of the newspapers, falling onto the floor and sending Beomgyu down with you.

Thud.

The fall had winded him momentarily, gaining his bearings only shortly after catching himself. He was hovering over you, supporting his weight with his hands resting on either side of your head. After steadying his breath from the run, Beomgyu was about to ask if you were alright.

Though, it was cut off by your laughter.

His heart skipped a beat, his breath hitching.

On your face was the most carefree expression ever, seemingly unbothered by the fall. Your eyes crinkled from the wide, pearly smile plastered your face, and your shoulders shook as endless chuckles escaped your lips. The bright colours on your face only seemed to enhance your joy as you practically beamed at him.

The sight made his chest feel all fuzzy and warm, swelling with pure admiration and love for you. It felt like his heart was about to burst at any moment.

In this very brief moment, Beomgyu reassures himself. This is alright, he thinks to himself with a small smile. Despite longing for more, if being just your friend meant seeing you like this, then this was alright.

Pushing away his doubts, he indulges himself in the moment, and soon joins you in your laughter.

A/N: Any feedback is appreciated!! Requests are also open!! Thank you for reading!

[dominicdelagol2]

Planning to try out Auctober again this October! Feel free to join in and draw for each prompt! List of prompts and their context below:

1: Red Instead - Instead of the blue puzzle piece as displayed by Autism $peaks, we light it up red instead!

2: Special Interests - Anything you love the most in your life!

3: Music - Music is always nice to listen to, especially video game music!

4: Comfort Food - Food is yummy. Fast food is even yummier because why wouldn't it be?

5: Stim / Verbal Stims - Stims include making mouth noises and waving your arms back and forth for comfort!

6: Stim Toys - Fidget cubes, spinners, squeezable toys, etc. -- they can be fun to use!

7: Sensory Euphoria - Some things can make you most happy, whether it's eating chicken with queso dip, seeing a light-filed city during night time, store candles with a good food-like smell, you name it!

8: Hyperfixation - One particular thing you're focused on so much! It can be the periodic table, a video game series, painting, anything you can think of!

9: Info Dumping - Wanna know what one thing is? Then you'll wanna be ready for a detailed explanation going at least 200-pages long!

10: Neurotypical Expectations - Neurotypicals expect an awful lot from autistic people. For all we know, some random guy might expect you to know how to build an aircraft carrier! Of course, that's just me haha

11: Jobs...? Where? - Obviously, there are TONS of open jobs available, but whatever jobs ARE open, workers and its managers expect you to work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work...without considering your overall health at all, nor giving you a long-enough break to help you catch your breath physically and mentally.

12: The Outside World - Outside is scary. No matter how safe you are, there's a tiny chance something bad or worse will happen. Society can even expect you to be "normal".

13: Social Anxiety - It's hard enough making friends, let alone be an extrovert. Chances are, one could have sociophobia!

14: Self-Advocacy - Nothing about us without us! Seriously, neurotypical adults have talked about autism and didn't include autistics in the conversation. (got that from one of my Auctober 2023 drawings)

15: Self-Care - Self-care is important! Make sure to brush your teeth, eat and drink healthy, exercise and whatnot!

16: LGBTQIA+ - Autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQIA+!

17: Rainbow Infinity - Rainbows are a whole spectrum of colors! Same with the autistic spectrum--all sorts of different experiences!

18: Au-DHD - ADHD, but "A" is replaced with "Au" as in aurum, which is Gold in Latin. ADHD can mean one is hyperactive!

19: Too Much Energy - The energy builds up too fast and you just have to exercise to tone it down! Of course, the energy could vary, sometimes being suddenly energetic when you just need to sleep.

20: Out-of-Nowhere Info/Fact - Say you're doing a simple job like vacuuming. All you have to do is move the vacuum on the floor as you hold the handle, thus cleaning the floor. Simple, yes? Well, surprise -- some guy sucker punches you with random information such as "Hey buddy! Vacuums use more electricity when you turn the vacuum on and off rather than letting it stay on!" (I've actually been told that one time, and the info sounding unconfirmed to me, it just left me in a long mental stasis of confusion) Like, when did anyone ask for a detailed fact about something that's SUPPOSED TO BE SIMPLE? I don't have time to comprehend an entire page of info, I just like to keep things SIMPLE as you neurotypicals tell me to my face.

21: School Experience - Experience can include elementary school, middle school, high school, college -- You can explain a particular event or two during any of these time periods!

22: Routine - A little something every day or now and then to stay consistent! Daily tasks can included 3 meals a day, staying productive or such!

23: Unmasking - Unmasking is not easy. Defending yourself from the unpredictable world, trying to blend in with society -- it's exhausting! Let the autistic community just be what they wish to be already.

24: Autistic Viewpoint - How do you view the world as an autistic?

25: America (Derogatory) - This one might not need an introduction -- America, the "Land of the Free" and the "Land of Opportunities", sure likes to screw us all over! Police are too paranoid, justice is a load of baloney, daily gun violence anywhere and everywhere, dangerous bigots normalizing the R-slur, then you have big and popular figures here smearing the autistic community into a negative light...and the list of bad things never stops growing! A very cruel country, like not even cartoon villains are this mean-spirited! How is the autistic community supposed to exist in peace when the USA is basically nothing but trouble? Happy 4th of July, I guess...

26: Comfort Media/Games - A TV show or video game is always nice to play and keep calm when times get tough out there!

27: Fancy Wording - A series of five-dollar words can arrive rather than a simple "yes" or "not" to suffice. Sometimes, fancy words such as Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis can be fun to learn about!

28: Gold - Gold is part of the periodic table, atomic number 79! Light it up gold instead of blue for Autism Acceptance! 'Au' as in Aurum, and autism!

29: Neurodivergent Community - There's all sorts of Neurodivergent people worth seeing! They all have different experiences!

30: Autistic Pride - Autistic and proud!

31: FREE SPACE -- Explain any topic you wish!

[borninwinter81]

William Blake and Good Omens - an intertextual analysis

Please note: I did another version of this and posted it, but it was quite hurried, way too short, and was incorrect in a number of ways so I deleted it. However it had already been reblogged by the time i did so. If you happen to see another version of this meta that's not the right one, this is the version I'm happy with!

After my previous post re William Blake and Good Omens did so well, and so many people showed an interest I've decided to do a more in depth piece. This is focused upon the TV version of Good Omens, not the book.

Please don't tag Neil in this - although it's mostly textual analysis I do a very small amount of S3 theorising, and I know he doesn't want to see that.

I am in no way suggesting that Neil and Terry specifically wrote Good Omens with Blake in mind, I honestly just wanted an excuse to write more about Blake because I love his work so much, and I thought it would be interesting to try and apply some intertexuality since the works will contain similar themes, both being about God, religion, humanity, and angels and demons.

I also should stress that I am not an expert on Blake, there are people far more qualified to comment on him than I. I'm just a former literature student who loves his work.

There have been many different interpretations of Blake's work over the years, so it's completely fine to disagree with someone else's ideas about it, as with any work of art or literature. And although this piece is likely to be long, I'll barely be able to scratch the surface of all the possible meanings that could be ascribed to it.

Much like the old adage that if someone claims to understand quantum physics they're lying, I'm not sure anyone can truly fathom the full meaning of Blake's philosophy (especially in his later prophetic works, fuuuuuuck those beasts....), so if you're confused by him don't be discouraged, that's perfectly normal!

That being said, I wish to discuss the parallels between Good Omens and The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, my personal favourite and probably the most accessible of his longer works.

"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence. From these contraries spring what the religious call Good & Evil. Good is the passive that obeys Reason. Evil is the active springing from Energy. Good is Heaven. Evil is Hell."

This excerpt is from near the opening and sets out the central idea of the work - that there is an essential duality to humanity, and each person is a combination of extremes. These extremes are not at war with each other, but rather are equally necessary, hence the "marriage" of the title. "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell" is a metaphor for the human experience.

Consistently throughout The Marriage... Blake refers to the two extremes as Reason and Energy. These terms could be construed in a number of different ways: thought versus emotion, mental versus physical, restraint versus desire, temperance versus excess, caution versus impulsiveness, and following the rules versus free will.

Blake's use of the word "Reason" in this context may be somewhat confusing, however he likely chose it because of his negative feelings towards science and the Age of Enlightenment. Blake saw literal visions of angels and prophets and the divinity of all creation, and hated that science reduced everything to formulas, calculations, and materialism, leaving the world bereft of wonder. "Art is the Tree of Life. Science is the Tree of Death" as he put it.

His ideas about "reason" are best expressed by his painting "Newton". Though inspired by the scientist, it is not a portrait - instead it depicts a figure deeply engrossed in scientific drawings and calculations, totally ignoring the beauty all around him - see below.

In the context of The Marriage... Reason is "passive" because it involves thought, caution, self-restraint, and doing what you are told, all states which block action. Energy is "active" because it is physical, emotional, impulsive and allows you to act based on your own choices and desires. It's quite clear that Blake feels "energy" is the preferable state - he tells us as much in the next section:

"The Voice of the Devil

All Bibles or sacred codes, have been the causes of the following Errors. 1. That Man has two real existing principles Viz: a Body & a Soul. 2. That Energy, call'd Evil, is alone from the Body, & that Reason, call'd Good, is alone from the Soul. 3. That God will torment Man in Eternity for following his Energies. But the following Contraries to these are True. 1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that call'd Body is a portion of Soul discern'd by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age. 2. Energy is the only life and is from the Body and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy. 3. Energy is Eternal Delight."

So the body is an aspect of the soul, not separate from it, Energy comes from the body, it is Reason which places limits upon Energy, but Energy is eternal delight. Physicality, desire, impulsiveness, emotion, sensual pleasure and free will are not wrong or evil, they are aspects of the human soul and it is from them that we derive our enjoyment of life.

This does not necessarily mean that Reason is always bad. After all, Blake tells us that both are necessary for human existence. Sometimes temperance, caution and thought before action are required. But Reason becomes negative when it "usurps its place and governs the unwilling", i.e. when it completely supplants Energy and becomes the sole guiding factor, forcing passivity.

The Angels of The Marriage... are governed by "systematic reasoning", therefore they are wholly creatures of Reason. They are also "all religious" meaning they believe the "errors" stated above. His Devils by contrast "hate religion" meaning they believe the "contraries", which are the true statements according to Blake. It does not necessarily follow that they are wholly governed by Energy, merely that they believe Energy is "eternal delight".

It is worth noting at this point that Blake saw God and religion as totally separate. For Blake, "God" is that connection with divine wonder which was integral to his life; he tells us plainly that "all deities reside in the human breast" and that "the voice of honest indignation is the voice of God". In other words all humans have a direct and intuitive link with God and don't require the church, Priests, or a religious framework and adherence to a set of rules in order to reach moral decisions. These rules exist only to "enslave the vulgar".

The importance of this ability to make one's own choices about a moral course of action is shown by one of the "Memorable Fancy" sections of The Marriage...

Blake relates how a Devil is able to use an Angel's "systematic reasoning" against them:

"if Jesus Christ is the greatest man, you ought to love him in the greatest degree; now hear how he has given his sanction to the law of ten commandments: did he not mock at the sabbath, and so mock the sabbaths God? Murder those who were murder'd because of him? Turn away the law from the woman taken in adultery? Steal the labor of others to support him? Bear false witness when he omitted making a defence before Pilate? Covet when he pray'd for his disciples, and when he bid them shake off the dust of their feet against such as refused to lodge them? I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments; Jesus was all virtue, and acted from impulse, not from rules."

The Angel has no way to refute the "reasoning" that Jesus was governed by Energy and "impulse", i.e. his own morality, the "voice of righteous indignation", not reasoning and the rules laid down by Heaven. And because Jesus is the Messiah he must be virtuous, therefore Energy is virtuous. The Angel immediately allows himself to be consumed by fire and is resurrected as a Devil.

How can these concepts apply to the world of Good Omens?  This was where my first draft was totally incorrect, as I tried to transfer Blake's ideas about Angels and Demons and Heaven and Hell wholesale, applying "reason" to Aziraphale and Heaven and "energy" to Crowley and Hell.  In fact the divide is slightly different in the GO-verse: Crowley and Aziraphale *both* represent Energy, and it is Heaven and Hell that act according to Reason.

At first glance Aziraphale may appear to toe the line - he needs creative application of the rules to make him comfortable with trying to avert the apocalypse, and when he doesn't like the way matters are being handled by the Archangels he seeks a higher authority and goes straight to God. He'd clearly prefer someone to be confirming the rightness of his actions for him. However this doesn't mean that he won't act on his own.

Immediately upon his introduction to the story he has given away his flaming sword, an action that he took impulsively because he felt it was right, not because someone told him to. It bothers him, but he does it anyway.

In the Job storyline, though he initially looks for some loophole within the rules that will allow him to save Job's children, in the end he directly goes against Heaven to do it, even though he believes he is going to Fall and become a Demon for having done so.

Though he resists it and exhausts all other possible avenues first, he eventually does take an active role in averting the apocalypse in S1.

He hides Jim at great personal risk to himself and against the will of both Heaven and Hell, again because he feels it is the right thing to do.

He is therefore perfectly capable of independent action from a position of "righteous indignation".

On a more basic level, he enjoys worldly pleasures, which all come from "energy" according to Blake's philosophy. Food and drink most obviously, but also books, music, dancing, theatre, art and so on.

Crowley is more easy to place as acting from Energy - in spite of the obvious aesthetic differences between them, he also loves worldly pleasures. Alcohol and coffee, snazzy clothing, driving his car with Queen blaring on the stereo, going to lunch with Aziraphale, Shakespearean comedies. All things he isn't supposed to want or need, and which baffle other Demons, in the same way that Aziraphale's desire for food baffles the Angels.

And he's absolutely willing to act according to his own moral impulses when they conflict with Hell's orders (or Heaven's), be it saving Job's children, ensuring that Elspeth doesn't die by suicide, or averting the apocalypse. Yes, he'll try to hide his "good" actions in order to avoid punishment by Hell, but he's firmly "on his own side".

Conversely, Heaven and Hell are both part of the structure of religion in this story, are strictly adherent to a set of rules, and their inhabitants appear to have no real desires of their own, other than possible advancement within the systems they uphold. They are "passive" in that their functions allow the status quo to continue and the "great plan" to unfold as they believe it is meant to, even though each side expects a different outcome.

Again, applying Blake's philosophy, I would say the reason for this is that "energy is from the body". Crowley and Aziraphale have both been given bodies in order that they can exist on earth, and *have* existed on earth for 6000 years, therefore "energy" - physical pleasures and free thinking - have become a part of who they are.

On a more fundamental level, possession of a body can be equated to humanity, and humanity has been shown as the most powerful force of all in this story, its influence having led to Adam becoming "human incarnate", and thus acting according to what he feels is right, instead of fulfilling the function he was destined for.

Heaven and Hell contain no material objects, and the Angels and Demons are spiritual beings, having no bodies, so they are not open to energy, and therefore are wholly governed by Reason, and the preservation of the religious structures within which they exist. Structures which, as for Blake, may not actually have anything to do with God herself. In S1 she is a distant observer, clearly aware through her narration of all that is going on, but not interceding in any way. In S2 she is barely present save for her voice being heard briefly in Job, and overlaid with Gabriel's on two occasions.

Bearing all this in mind, what predictions can we make regarding S3 by applying Blake's philosophy?

"The ancient tradition that the world will be consumed in fire at the end of six thousand years is true, as I have heard from Hell.

For the cherub with his flaming sword is hereby commanded to leave his guard at [the] tree of life, and when he does, the whole creation will be consumed and appear infinite and holy, whereas it now appears finite and corrupt.

This will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment."

The parallels of the cherub with his flaming sword, and the passage of 6000 years should be obvious to anyone reading this - they have of course been lifted directly from the Bible as they are in GO.

I have read some metas which speculated that Aziraphale's bookshop, or perhaps Earth itself, is a metaphorical stand-in for Eden or The Tree of Life. Aziraphale has been commanded to leave his "Eden" and will now be instrumental in causing the whole of creation to become infinite and holy, but Blake tells us this will be done by an improvement of sensual enjoyment, which arises from Energy not Reason.

Sensual enjoyment is something which is intrinsic to Aziraphale's character, and this could make his placement in Heaven very important.

Putting aside all the "final fifteen" theories and taking matters at face value, Aziraphale tells us that if he's in charge he can make a difference - he needs to subvert the system from the inside out. The most subversive thing of all could be that a sensualist who acts according to "the voice of moral indignation" and "Energy" has become the supreme Archangel. We have seen in Blake how a realisation that Energy could be virtuous was enough to convert an Angel into a Devil (incidentally, does the image of an Angel being consumed by fire and emerging as a Devil seem familiar at all...)

We may have seen the beginnings of this already. Gabriel and Beelzebub became open to Energy from such little things as visiting earth, spending time in one another's company, and their mutual enjoyment of a song, which has given them wants and desires beyond those dictated by Heaven and Hell. This is enough to make them wish to leave their roles behind.

It's possible that the same may happen with Muriel. They haven't yet imbibed food or drink, but they have shown an enjoyment of books, which are an earthly pleasure, and open the reader up to new ideas and ways of thinking.

Of course, this would lead to questions regarding the Metatron's statement that he has "ingested things", and whether this means he is acting from reason or energy. Of course the simplest explanation is that it is a manipulation tactic, and he is lying about having done so, but if true that statement has some interesting implications. However, this is now super-long and I'm out of juice, so will leave others to speculate. I may return to this in the future!

There we go, hope you enjoyed. I doubt this will reach nearly as many people as my first Blake post, but if a few find it of interest then my work is done!

[tooboredtothinkofaname]

Self-care

If you're unable to afford therapy, there are several self-care practices and resources you can explore to support your mental and emotional well-being. Here are some strategies that may be helpful:

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Practice mindfulness meditation to increase self-awareness and reduce stress.

Use mindfulness apps like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer for guided meditation.

Physical Exercise:

Engage in regular physical activity, such as walking, jogging, yoga, or dancing.

Exercise helps release endorphins and promotes a sense of well-being.

Creative Outlets:

Explore creative activities like painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument.

Expressing yourself creatively can serve as a form of emotional release and self-exploration.

Social Support:

Foster connections with friends, family, or support groups.

Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can provide emotional validation and understanding.

Journaling:

Write down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a journal.

Journaling can help you process emotions and gain insights into your mental state.

Healthy Lifestyle Habits:

Maintain a balanced diet, prioritize regular sleep, and reduce the consumption of alcohol and recreational substances.

Establishing healthy lifestyle habits contributes to overall well-being and emotional stability.

Online Resources:

Utilize online mental health resources and communities for support and guidance.

Websites like 7 Cups, BetterHelp, and TherapyTribe offer online support and resources.

Self-Help Books and Podcasts:

Read self-help books or listen to podcasts focused on mental health and personal development.

Resources like "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne or podcasts like "The Hilarious World of Depression" can offer insights and coping strategies.

Set Boundaries and Prioritize Self-Compassion:

Establish healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life to avoid emotional burnout.

Practice self-compassion and avoid self-judgment, allowing yourself to acknowledge and accept your feelings without harsh criticism.

While self-care practices can be helpful for some periods of time, it's essential to seek professional help if you're experiencing severe or persistent mental health challenges. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees or pro bono services, and some community organizations provide free mental health support. Don't hesitate to reach out for assistance when needed.

[byenycfm]

Madeleine Higheagle || 40 || #312 || Lily Gladstone || Closed

Personality:

Madeleine, always willing to turn a listening ear, perhaps too willing. They were often questioned, when caring for others: where is Rania in all of this? They still aren't sure themself, but what they do know is that they are a caretaker. Always a joy to have in class, now able to recognise the signs of someone who prefers to suffer quietly because she is of that nature. Even so, she doesn't let it get the better of her. Time has worn down the optimism, the need to look at the glass half-full, but she knows there is a glass, there is still water left in it, therefore there is still time for change. She loves openly and freely, and it takes a lot to truly irritate or anger her, even though her face is nearly always resting in a rather pensive, withdrawn expression.

The physical toll is more so doing that than the mental drain, and even to this day, she seeks creativity as her outlet. Has been known to "nest" by decorating random rooms and getting creative with leftover materials; no medical knowledge doesn't mean she cannot cut the length of bandages necessary from construction paper until better things come along. Her idiom is you make the most of what you're given, and sometimes, what you're given isn't a lot. When she has lost her temper, it's taken most others by surprise. In general, she is quite expressive in her face, and doesn't keep her opinions to herself — emotions, however, are another matter. She doesn't want to be a burden, she wants to remain strong in the face of what happens. Her shyness has gone away the longer she has been around others, tapping more into what she calls her "teacher's costume" in order to be able to socialise easier.

Biography:

The culture shock of the big city would only be the first to shake her. At the time, she couldn't have anticipated this. Born as an only child in a small town to working parents, she was often left on her own, a shy child who didn't speak to her babysitters nor connect easily to other pupils at school. Honing her expression through her arts and crafts, getting scolded for painting on walls when she was bored at home, it was one of her teachers at school who made the lasting impression on her. She encouraged her to follow her artistic dreams, that she didn't have to settle for living in a remote town in Montana if she didn't want to.

Madeleine almost didn't know what else there could be, but together, they put together an art portfolio. In trying to share this excitement with her parents, it was met often with dismissal, or the infamous, can't you pick something more lucrative? But with the help of her teacher, Ms. Marakovic, she stayed after school, learnt more art skills, and worked towards later on submitting an art portfolio. Perhaps their stubbornness streak began here, perhaps this only brought it out of their shell. Regardless, their life seemed appropriately on track. She attended a smaller art school for her earlier college years, and then focused on attending NYU's art school for her later education. Upon heading there at age 25, she became enamoured: with opportunities, with procured silence, with no pressure except that which she placed on her own self.

The last thing she expected was to fall in love. It was even one of those situations, ridiculous and plucked right out of those romance novels: a leak springing in her apartment, another plumber being assigned to her unit than usual. Striking up a chat, realising that it is possible to have so, so many commonalities with another person. To know what it means to be read, right to your very soul. Him being the beginning to the end? It did not cross her mind. You don't think about those things in love, and she placed all of her love into him, and then one day, when he left, she thought: he took it all with him.

That was until she found out she was pregnant. That was where, after a long cry in the bathroom, head against the sink counter, she decided: that was where she would pour all her love, and that was how she would heal. She couldn't have seen what was coming. How for Halloween, she decorated her apartment, saw that ship on the horizon. How her gut clenched, and she chose to ignore it. In the middle of painting the ship, trying to figure out what she didn't like about it, for sometimes art brought about those realisations — and then the world, her world, was shaken forever.

She clocked back into those old ways of survival when things went dark. She survived outside of the Wexley with the old skills taught to her, holed up in her apartment, checking unlocked doors, making her supplies last. It wasn't until November 15th, during the military strike, that she took the opportunity and fled to the Wexley. Having been present as that listening ear, that firm and strict presence, and keeping her pregnancy a secret, now four months along and still not showing too much, not wishing to be a burden on anybody — they elected to head out with the scouts during what would end up being the worst winter the Wexley could have ever anticipated.

It was one of their first biggest experiences with Chompers, too, and isn't any kind of thing they're going to forget. What kind of world will she have to raise her child in? Perhaps these things will awaken the dormant, determined spirit which is within her, but will she be able to still cling to her optimism even as things continue to get dark? Her savviness with living in a small town — her cabin, with no electricity, chopping fire wood, gathering supplies, and making gold out of straw — can only go so far. She prays every night in whispers that no other lights will go out before their time.

Pre Outbreak Occupation: Elementary Art Teacher Previous Zombie Experience: Minimal. When outside of the Wexley, she encountered them at a distance and remained as far away as possible. Their movements reminded her of a folk tale of certain, unnamed creatures she knew in her youth. Fear kept her alive, and perhaps a little bit of respect, oddly enough. Marital Status: Single Children: Expecting first child Residence: Apt. #312 Years residing at The Wexley: Pre Outbreak 15 Years Connections: tbd

[ilylmwwifys]

—𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆

( 🕰 ) ,, angst, not proofread

. ( ⏳ ) : Jouno found out [Y/N] was betraying him and the hunting dogs, after discovering, the reader decided to confess something.

"[Y/N].." He muttered audibly. He clenched his teeth while gripping the handle of his sword; his thumbs slowly positioning itself on the Tsuba— slightly unsheating the sword on its sheath.

You two were in a room— a lab to be specific. You both stood there, your hands placed on your back, while you plastered a joyful expression on your face; closed eye with a big smile.

The happiness emitting from you made Jouno's grip on his handle even harder— how could you stay so.. Cheeky at this kind of situation?

"What's the problem?" You oblivious asked with an excitement laced on your tone while tilting your head, you behaved so innocent, you acted confused like you knew nothing— albeit, you really knew what was wrong.

"The problem? Hah— don't make me laugh, [Y/N]. You are the problem." He bluntly uttered out which made you opened your eyes at his remark— slightly shocked at his accusation. Your head returned at its position, a confused face was now your expression.

"Me? Problem?" You purely asked. He removed the grip on his handle as his shoulders slowly falls out; he held his gaurd down. "Don't try to act so innocent [Y/N]." He stated a chuckle slipping from his lips.

You closed your eyes a smile making its way to your face again as you faced your back slowly walking to your desk. An ammused face was plastered on Jouno as he waited for a word to come out from your mouth.

"I didn't want it." You murmured, you knew he heard it "You can't keep a promise, neither." You perked at his voice— the smile from your face faded "Promises are meant to be broken, neither."

You walked to your desk, placing your palm on the painted wood as you bent your waist down "There's something I want to tell you." You uttered your voice lace with... Emptiness.

"And what's that?" He inquired with a please tone— a smirk on his face now, although, he can't help but be worried at the sudden change of your mood.

"I want to tell you something I've really wanted to let you know. " Your voice was completely nothing. No joyful aura emitted from you.

He knew something was wrong. He was used to your energetic voice but now it was nothing but, blankness. Your voice was laced with desolation.

He just hummed gesturing for you to continue whatever you wanted to say. He was curious too.

A tense atmosphere developed the room as he patiently waits for your words, you looked down at the table before proceeding "It hurts to be something." You uttered out, voice emotionless.

He tilted his head not really understanding you "But!—" your breath hitched before taking a moment to continue "It's worst to be nothing," You stopped, no light or joy could be seen around you, mentally or physically.

"With you." You ended, it took him by suprise as his head returned to its position, mouth slightly agape. He was shocked, your voice was completely voided, usually— you would be energetic even in the darkest time, but now, you were a completely different person.

He shook his head discarding your mental well being and rather focusing on the real problem, he was about to open his mouth when you precede him, he slammed his mouth shut letting you to continue "I've done the math."

Now he was even more confused, what math? He's sure that this job— or rather than being a betrayer doesn't consist a math problem, right? At this point, you— or he thinks that you're just making this up to feel sympathy.

"There's no solution." You uttered out, biting your cheeks trying not to spill the tears you were holding. He let out a sigh showing that he was somewhat irritated.

"We'll never last."

. [ 📜 ] I don't know what I did but stick to it plz, I don't have anything to post☹️☹️

[mariii1]

🫀Things you can do to self-care/relax🫀

THIS IS INTUITIVE ONLY NO TAROT

Inspired by my root canal and dev lemons

DARK/WEIRD THEME AGAIN YAYYYY All artists are credited! Check them out on insta. Also I couldn't get this song out of my head and I realized the other day I physically don't know how to relax so here we are. I didn't realize this was intuitive until I started, granted it's 5 am. Happy Chomping!

1. Eat more. You may put yourself on restrictive diets or have trouble with eating and have a tumultuous relationship with food. If you think you need help with these relationships, it would be the best self care to get it. Whether through getting a better doctor (some doctors are quite fatphobic and lazy in their practice tbh) or seeing a therapist and nutritionist. I think this is something you focus on, even if you don't want to. This year may present opportunities for you to change and if you want to start alone, the best thing would be trying to get over your potential fear of food. I'm not going to be specific bc that can be very triggering but just know there are online sources out there that aren't toxic and people go into recovery everyday.

2. Being more present. I knowwww you've probably heard that so many times and people are never fucking specific but I'll be for you: going outside more, moving around more so you can be in your body more, not focusing on the future, distracting yourself less, seeking more physical stimulantion, etc. I think you get the drift. Paying more attention to your body since of you may be connected to group one where you ignore signals you're body gives you whether it's being hungry, needing to shit, being thirsty or tired, etc.

3. Oh you're the opposite of pile 2. You need more mental stimulantion and possibly emotional as well. Honestly getting into more emotional things idk how to describe like watching tv shows or movies more, reading fiction. I think your day to day is always the same and it's really taking a toll on you. I think these are easy ways to incorporate some newness into your routine although I think a lot of you take prode in having or like rigid schedules. You don't and shouldn't be productive all the time. Like I heavily get you're missing out on fandoms and people you could relate to because you don't indulge in pop culture like that.

4. Something with the body specifically changing your clothing and/or skin. Basically changing and taking more interest in your outward appearance. I think you all already do, but I feel you can take it a bit step further especially if there are things you've been wanting to try out. Some of you might want to try body art like literal body painting or getting tattoos. Just something that has to do with having you're body in particular you're whole physical appearance involved. This is very much visual based nothing physical like dancing or working out more. If you've been wanting to dress more traditionally for you're culture in particular, this could bring you a lot of happiness and could be very fun for you.